the pursuit of selamat

in increasing the efforts to contribute to national security, a group of middle-aged youths set out to pulau ubin to find the elusive mas selamat. even though news had came in that mr selamat’s kaki has been caught, efforts have not deteriorated to capture him.

the group set out to meet early morning one saturday. but, as should have been known, mas slamat powers to be had converted the time to waktu indonesia barat. thus one of the members a certain mr sarip dol arrived too late to enjoy his mas saujana nasi lemak whom his father said is much much better than the international nasi lemak stall whom till this day still remains a mystery why the queue is so long like that.

mr sarip said that for all of his 30 years of existence he has never set foot on ubin. but he responded that that will not deter him from protecting his countreh.

and it was a pleasant surprise for him to note that he liked the surroundings of P.U. even after stories after stories he heard of P.U. as a haven for the cik flying fatimahs, especially about a group who went to ubin to camp but somehow mysteriously did not bring THE tent and had to sleep under a tree where ms heidi glum made an appearance.

the search started off by cycling towards chek jawa. but apparently, navigation was actually quite bad, and instead of the intended place, the team ventured out ubin river where they met a suspicious ang-mohish looking man sitting alone with binoculars. The team was suspicious and made contact with him for questioning.


The team was disappointed though thinking they may found a lead to mas selamat, but instead was told by the man he was actually looking at some otters on the other side of the water.


sadly, one of the photographers was so kero mata that by the time he arrived to the scene all the otters were gone.

the group finally found their way to chek jawa, where they met a mat ranger who apparently spoke with a kentalan slang. we didn’t care much but it was noticed by some members of the group that they saw a group of tombstones lying mysteriously on the left side of the walkway.


along the pathway, the group initiated to climb the observation tower when chaos broke out. apparently, one of the members of the group who declined to be named trembled so much because the towers were starting to sway.

after the particular harrowing experience, the group made their way and continue their journey to find mas selamat at the mangroves.


mr sarip dol quoted that he will kill the day when a group of young punks will name their group as stated above because it is oh so cliche.

but anyways, the tide was high…


…and the group was disappointed to not be able to see those cute little crabs who will venture on the seabed.


the day was hot, but it did not deter the group to walk one stretch of the walkway to search their man. the group encountered more pockets of mamaks in the area and was still mystified as why there are so many of them on that day.


obligatory mat arty farty feeling shot.


the group discovered some serious people who are keeping a lookout too at the bottom part of the walkway. the group wished them luck for their expensive equipment to not to dip into the water.

the visitor centre was located at the end of the walkway and suspicion arose quickly because the building has a chimney, thinking as to why such a place need one when it is on an island in the middle of the tropical zone.


unfortunately, the group still did not manage to find a clue.


till the dog gave up and started to lick his balls.

the group then made their way down to hunt for the horfun at the chinese stall whom someone said had been around since he was in primary school. along the way, they found a quarry.


still no mas selamat.

along the way the group made stops to mamam campsite, on the northern tip of the island. while there, one of the members remarked the quickness of the authorities of putting bamboo stilts along the coast in assumption to protect the island from terroristas when in actual fact the stilts have been there for ages.

after mamam campsite, the team proceeded to noordin campsite, where suspiciously a group of mamaks were playing frisbee on a bedrock. the group was puzzled as to why such a queer group of people was playing a queer game in a very, very queer place. they were avoided immediately.


till they got lost in the middle of nowhere.

after lunch, the group head out towards the ketam mountain bike trail before they made a stop at the ubin quarry to take a second picture of the obligatory mat arty farty feeling shot.


the bike trail was huge, sparse and gravellish, with funny trees falling midway along the trail where mr sarip was quite apprehensive to move a fallen tree thinking mas selamat’s bomoh had put it there. the group set out for a seemingly innocent named trail called the easy ridge thinking it will be, easy. until they found out it quite possibly be the hardest of the lot and some had to carry the bikes up.


like this one.

and more surprises were to come when at the end of the route they found a very steep ridge that overlooks the quarry, of sorts. word has been going around that some people had cracked their heads while sloping down the hill. this might be the perfect hideaway for mas selamat.


mr sarip dol, in long pants, was actually quite syiok sendiri that he can make the ride first until he realised that he is so mata kero and cannot differentiate the terrain and his hands were wet like cut watermelons.

the group made their way across the bike trail with mr sarip grasping his breath and thinking how a chick like her is able to video, photograph and cycle at the same time.

he was still grasping for breath after he made the ride up to ketam quarry to photograph minah-afraid-of-swaying-towers.


the day was getting dark and the group quickly made their way downhill before mr sarip dol observed there were a lot of colorful yellow lalangs.


he assumed that since yellow is a royal color in malay culture, it might be a base for mas selamat to collect his potent powers. but questioned further if it was true, he noted that it is only his another obligatory shot of mat feeling feeling arty farty.

by the time the group came down the trail, the rain was falling down heavily. the group stayed put on a small “training” shack for almost one and a half hours with scores of sesat jalan earthworms.

they went back to the mainland aftearwards, disappointed, not able to locate mas selamat.

to be continued.

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