miss misery

whenever i feel like in the dumps, good will hunting never fails to cheer me up. i can relate to will’s character, and feels like him (except for the abundance of genius and charm). i can feel his lack of self-enrolment to accept himself to the rest of the other people. people may look at this as difficult, egoistic, too self-centered and always want to detach oneself from society. (we) are the anti-socialites of the world, but lest anyone judge, (we) are never proud of it. (we) can’t put a finger to it, either are (we) introverts or just plainly snobs in the very own right?

you know when you are approaching 30 and seeing the rest of your cliques honing the basic necessities of life, it makes me wonder why am i still this way. i’ve seen good will hunting countless of times and trying to understand holden caulfield’s intentions, but still it is still – which is definitely not the best way to put oneself in the reflection of life because most times, fiction does not imitate real life.

i’m struggling, still, in the emotional matter. i seek space but yet intimately craves for some human touch but will scratch it away again when the bubble is entered. and the worst part of it all, i am still numb in the exploration for change.

we, humans, are tribes, packs in groups in nature. and if one member disintegrates from the group, it’s pointed as abnormal and strange and difficult. how can individuality lives when this has always been practiced? are we really chains in a chemical formula that binds together?

are we?

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