the following takes place on broadband

hello kids!

are you a busy one? working 9 to 9? no time to rilek? no time to watch tv? always arguing with your family members because you want to watch cnn but the bahrum insists watch ing rtm1 and then keep complaining why messia ________________?

not to worry! the intuhnet has 3 quick ways to watch tv for FREE! for FREE!

eat that mediacork!

now let’s return watching jack bauer defying everything in sight.

pound (the) puppies

i’ve always love cats. each time a stray or a domesticated one appears i will do the “tch tch tch” lizard sound to attract their attention. i’ve calculated at most 1 out of 10 will do the manja prance and cuddle the calfs thingy. i like. but other times, they’ll just look scared with their eyeballs almost popping out and then they’ll do the flintstones’ run. the nerve!

so today while walking home feeing feeling lagu EITS kan, i saw this uncle and a cute ah lian laughing and running about at the void deck. i wonder why but the ah lian is cute like that korean actress lah kan. so feeling feeling lebih….until last i realised she was playing with this group of 5 puppies. yes. F-I-V-E. five notorious devils trapped in a furball. i can still hear their woof shrieks screaming out for attention. and they will run to anything that moves. at that very moment, i felt like a criminal target with a red dot aimed directly at me. those freaks. are. coming. towards. me.

apa lagi. i quicken the steps lah. but these gremlins like can sense kan your intentions so diaorang pun angkat kaki yo. woof woof woof terus. in my mind apa kapahluak ni setan kejar aku siol. takkan diaorang ingatkan aku ni bapak diaorang. i saw one approaching very near, but pasal nak menten cool to the ah lian and perservering the uncle’s sanity, i did not kick the nose lah kan. bahrom said to kick them noses if those furballs come approaching you. so, i just swing ajer lah the leg…..until all 5 cornered me siol to one corner. wtf?! the last i need is for a puppy to jump like milo and waiting for me to throw a ball and shout “FETCH BIATCH!” in the middle of the night. but while trying to regain my sanity lah kan, cute plak ni benda laknat.

i kid you not, they look like those but pound puppies they are not.

so luckily lah the ah lian came and saved the day. aku pun apa lagi, woof pitbull style kat diaorang. kecut sikit. tapi nasi dah menjadi bubur.

haiz, desire for the pussys, the biatches plak datang mengejar. nasib, nasib…

dat’s all for sarip’s daily hikayat…


cat fever on overload.

tori amos is releasing american doll posse on may 1. whatever it is rai, messia is still a country. unless she still insist on breastfeeding a piglet lah kan.

hopefully you’ll not be a nutcase like this tori. he/it is far too gone yah.

slow day….slowwwww dayyyy…

you are the chink in my amor

it was supposed to be a weekend screaming for starlights and hysteria. but alas, it was not meant to be. i hope you guys had a good time at merdeka stadium.

scarlett looks HAWT in that whatcomesaroundgoesaround video. but then most said she looked like a biatch on steroids or she can only potray as one in all her appearences. however as all things in universe, sarips drools over her. anytime. everytime. and so it came to the theme for this weekend. which is…

..the perenial scarlet’s weekend show marathon. oh, how lame can this be. since ch5 was showing lost in translation – which i still don’t gettit but her butt looks great and the soundtrax is dope – sarip continued the excursion with the island, match point, in good company and the prestige. should’ve got the black dahlia too. damn.


sarip didn’t understand how come the island flopped. there were rumors that the film execs blame that the film does not have *major* stars init. all sarip can say is that michael bay films normally (suck). match point was, of course, excellent. even though this is the 3rd viewing but scarlet making out (with wet-tshirt!) in the open field is always, refreshing. in good company was very lo key and subtle but dennis quaid excels as the cool dad everyone wishes they have.

the prestige was without in doubt excellent. damn blardy excellent. and yeah, she potrayed the same ‘ol same ‘ol mistress in need of a mattress. but the twists and turns and the excellent casting of christian bale (yey), hugh jackman, michale caine AND david bowie (whoots) provide layers in the storyline. of course, who is not better than chris nolan to execute this type of drama. funny it did not take off as big in singapore when it was screened here. but knowingly (majority) singaporeans have better things to do than watching good shows…

so yeah another weekend wasted slobbing of the lcd. luckily it is (another) long weekend. ah and yes screenbox did not pick up any awards. (haha) no offense to those (still) working there, but yeah, i think a lot of people do not want to see mr soojeemeek jumping up and down with glee.

plus, tomorrow’s the oscars. ah yes. another excuse to (sort of) make up for the off day. 4 hours of non-combustible flattery. but at least i want to see how ryan goosling is going to make up his hair. so can copy, if only. then again, oscars being oscars it’s gonna be a drag and predictable. at least popmatters have a direct perspective on a better list. now, where to get that children of men film….

oh and arsenal lost. :<

i walked a thousand miles just to slip the skin

more photos here via

we are always trying to strive
but others are struggling to survive
how can this be
when the news are always be merry
is welfare such a dirty word
when others are not flying like a bird
i don’t know what to say
but at this rate, i may also not have a place to stay
i am scared of staying in singapore
esp when plans to increase the pop to the core
what should i do
what should i brew?
is success our only desire?
when the social economy is drowning in a spitfire
we do not want pitiness
all we need are consiousness
in this pursuit of happiness…


sarip twas so stoked he could not be bothered to go to work. jumping up and down at 545 in the morning is not a welcomed morning call for the neighbour downstairs.

i think the man of the match award should be given to steve finnan, that matt damon doppleganger. people rarely acknowledged that he has a very deft right foot. that cross for the first goal was very beckhamesque and if mr sarong party guy had crossed that ball, millions of people will relish his “supreme” ability, but then sarip always preferred low profile personalities. but who was that no. 2? another spanish playa?? i wonder how many more spaniards papa benitez is bringing in. not good.

brian tracy said that if you don’t have the desire to do it, just quit. fast. so, yeah.

sarip has always love cats. and lately, lots of cats have been appearing in the news.

that smug. extra the cat has extra toes. at this rate, sarip will be bringing whitey the cat upstairs. 🙂

trust messia’s gahmen heads to introduce ideas that are out of this world. last after the adopt-a-rempit scheme to reduce the mat rempit syndrome, now comes the mat skoding fenomena. serious, no shite. i can just imagine kids saying, when i grow up, i wanna be a mat skoding. cool…messia, truly asia.


everyone desires a mac. c’mon admit it.

tapi kalau komponi ada sikit masaelah ngan budget, we’ve to make do with the grand d(l)ame PC. listening to the “ding ding diiiiiiing” welcoming sound of windows can put off the desires of a soul seh.

but, in the tradition of *pimp my ride* (which admitedly i am addicted to somehow, somehow so so much for me being anti-mtv), something’s gotta give. the pc has to be pimped!

and so let us welcome flyakiteosx. maybe i am so backwatered kan because this thing has been around for a year and plus, but better late than never kan?


dear vista, you can go to hell……

now that’s what i called being pimped! surprisingly kan, the apps did not lag and at times, it even runs better than before. openoffice and photoshop runs without much of a hitch and the dock runs smoothly. so thanks flyakite for pimping my screen! now if only the tower box can be upped too….

in other news lifehacker has a profile on how to hack your ipod without using itunes. nice.

and lastly, this guy is really giving murals a new genre.

ok i think now is smoking break time….

danke schoen

i feel best at 4 am-ish. everyone’s asleep and their souls are flying everywhere. possible in fate i can be a dreamcatcher. 🙂

well but at least at the end of the day i’ve witnessed those boys from brooklyn live on stage before i die, or pertinently before they themselves. and it’s true oh yes it’s true i did lose my mind that time. but ch-ch-ch-ch-chk it out wats wif the deal of the scene kids doing bodysurfing yo? but let’s try not to be bothered wiffat though jo’s screaming to an ang moh scared the shite out of him. his balls mmmmmmm…drop!

ok enough of the cliche slang.

i think adrock looks damn fine for a 40 year old. he looks slick oh yeah. *twiddles* but the young punks, paris hilton wannabees and that ang moh kid with his big bag who keeps going in and out of the crowd (like wtf?!) may not be bothered about paul’s boutique and tibetan chants. highlight for real was definately when the riffs for sabotage came out, and oh yes i feel young all over again.

ahhh, the joys of ’94 relived in ’07. it’s about damn bloody time.

i was actually hoping for in a world gone mad and an open letter to nyc to be played, but luckily root down, intergalactic, 3 mcs and 1 dj, brass monkey and of course no sleep ’til brooklyn brought down the house.

gripes? let’s restrict any event, if possible, to above 21 can? $8 for a can with the longest queue? and wat’s tha deal with the longggggg soundcheck? but the cicada’s singer is cute like bayek kan.

still it’s ok. i am still a happy camper. see ya when i see ya.

happy valentwines

another reason to skive (more) at work.

democracy internet tv

Internet TV

go. download. it.

i’ve been blowing balloons (purples are very nice) the whole day, and reading news articles. it bores me to the brink of death that i even strive myself to read articles on american idol.

maybe if i acquire one of these diseases that can give me superhuman powers.

her dress was fantaboulous i see. she’d lost weight, tremendously, and oh those eyes glitter with sparkles lah. funny, it’s been a year but the good mentor says, ‘thou shall not do a colleague’ is embedded permanently. *ting!*

i wonder how long cafe del mar will survive here. those bedstyles are coolio like warren g.

but then the amount of typical typicals sprouting on these shores is escalating like wildfire, it’s disturbing. and we point out to the main culprit:- mendaki. go figure.

as for now, let’s take an afternoon nap before proceeding to 6pm.

c ya.

sweden is the new scotland

something must be going on that land up way north. besides land full of blondes, the massages and henrik larson, it’s music department is bursting way out of its seams. last before jensamania and gonzalizza is settled on kmpngdsn, here comes pb&j and loney, dear. young folks and i am john are spinning non stop on clementine the clickwheel.

for those interested, the lagu lagu blog has some downloads. for those really crazy for more swedes, hello surprise has some more. for those who are really crazy for ikea, please jump off from the 10th storey. thank you very much.

this is a major case of stockholm syndrome. god bless the swedes.

hopefully it is not the cause of this though.


lain kali gi hard rock, baik baik.

btw, somehow, somehow! the album leaf’s show has been *extended*. hooray!

yes, at last something has been said about the doves’ campaign for real beauty. in typical kmpngdsn style, that marketing dovetail is full of bollocks okay? at the end of the day the awareness of the brand and increase interest in sales IS the main objective, no matter how good their intents and purposes are. so, try not to provoke those emotions, can?

news newsy

this law really takes the cake, its cherry and whatever is in between

N.Y. lawmaker hopes to ban iPod use in crosswalks

perhaps we should ban deaf people from walking, too.

but then in other news…

‘An obsessed woman astronaut was charged with attempted murder last night after botching a plot to kidnap a love rival. Lisa Nowak – nicknamed Robo-Chick – armed herself with a gun, knife and pepper spray for the showdown with Colleen Shipman. She also wore a wig and trenchcoat disguise and drove 900 miles in NAPPIES to confront Ms Shipman – so she would not have to stop for a toilet break’ – The Sun.

11 more days!

paul masefield, yer the mace

i just have to do this.

paul masefield was sungguh bersemangat on sportscentre. he was arguing that a small country like cheengapore needs to import players so as the sports scene will thrive further here as the natural pop cannot compete in terms of numbers with the region.


first case in point kan mr mase, your thighs are huge so please don’t wear shorts ok on tv?

second of all, yer a foreigner. it takes for a foreigner to come and reside in another country, it takes another to tell that it is advisable that the foreigners are the saviours of et al. and collette wong, yer comments are so bimbotic sans the glasses.

the topic of singapore cherry picking foreign talent has somewhat give results to the sporting scene. but how viable of success and satisfaction does it really gives to the singaporeans themselves?

just take a look at the first of the lot in egmar goncalves. only like say a few years ago, he was proclaiming to be very proud to be a singaporean after residing here for more than 10 years. besar hati jugak. he is proud of representing the *country* and will do his best to bring it to another level.

and then he’s leaving after 12 years.

so much for being proud to reprezent.

this is the problem with imported talents representing the country. they may have the skills, they may have the stature, the may have the competitive edge over some locals, but are their hearts sowed into the roots of the country? how can we be sure when times are bad, their love and desire for singapore will stay permanent? people may argue that even locals will migrate out of the country, but have anyone thought of them to represent the another country?

short cut methods of importing talents are not the way to go. full stop. the achivements will feel fake and souless. it even contrives to a form of cheating sey. just look at the starting line yesterday. 5 freaking players are foreigners. helloooooo??? no wonder a lot of the region neighbours are membebeling.

if you ask me if we are to still cherry pick foreign talents to represent, make sure that fella sign an indemnity form that states he/she will never leave the country even after he/she retires, no matter what. we’ve given them the opportunity to let them play, they might bloody as hell stay put here. only then shall we know if they’re interested inplaying for the country, and not for them to earn a fast buck and leave when the storn comes approaching.

and please mr mase, zidane left algeria not because he wants to represent france, the family left because of economical issues. an alien immigrant in fact. in fact most of them french players. i don’t see in anyhow the gahmen here allows aliens to reside here knowingly kan they are not in the *glamour white collar* categories.

let’s go back to the spirit of sport and not winning the trophy at all cost. they did say kan, winning is not everything?

confident sia itu mat


permaisuri peti sejuk ada bagi ni link dan sarip ketawa tak terkira bila tengok. baik nih benda. ada orang tolong bilang yaakob baa baa black chick bagi ni budak2 hadiah melayu terbaik untuk ini tahun. betul, tak bedek.

ah tadi pak bahrum terlonjok macam kera makan cili padi bila itu khairul score. member nye anak nye pasal. tak habis habis dia terpekik. tapi confident sia itu mat!

tapi takper, biar diaorang menang, esp itu alam shah. si mat tuh gua respek. cuma yang gua pening asal si indra tuh nak masuk campur. jangan ko.

dan aide aide. gua bilang lu kan, lu gi minum minyak gamat satu galon pun bagus lah. lu mau backheeeeeeeeeeeeeel kaperrrrrr. lu GILA BABI BIRD FLU KAH?? agaknya gua dah takde apa apa lagi nak cakap pasal lu.

naik darah siol!

tapi…enjet enjet semut…..

a typical post from a mat whose lung has been induced


dear mr moores and mr parry and mr benitez,

if you say that women are considered to be very fickle minded, let me digress. your inability to make a firm decision and topsy turvy reactions makes john kerry’s hair looked very george clooney-ish.

it took months, months for you to finally decide the dic deal is dead. what does it have to take for someone, or anyone, to make a deal that is suitable to lfc? the state of siberia, or the whole land piece of antartica? let’s list down on the suitors shall we:- steve morgan, robert kraft, dic, now this gilette dude and not to forget singapore’s very own favourite son, thaksin. are you too selfish to let go of your family’s fortune, mr moores? if you are, then stop this shitty piece of business laundering that not only will affect the fans, but the fans’ fans too. :S

remember, liverpool is not like the liverpool of the 80s. we are not as big as we like it to be, so deal with it. there is not even a player from the academy that has prospered into the first team in the last 6 years. that is the direction that is supposed to be materialised, not an upscaling desire to explode the number of attendees at the stadium.

and mr benitez, the respect that has been given to you has been lowered down like a a titanic on morphine. you complain that everton are a small team who was only interested in not wanting to lose. as far as i can remember, countless of times in cup games your team has 8 defenders in away ties, trying its best to just stop the opponent from kicking a ball. don’t blame the opponent when you’re placing the most incompatible striker in peter crouch as your main striker when you are putting dirk kuyt way out on the left. it’s a lucky fact that this person did not throw his glass each time he sees crouch dropping to the ground at the slightest of touches. his strength is equivalent to a bunch of travestites at orchard towers who melts at the sight of money. just.throw.him.out.

bah, let’s just hope the superbowl is only going to get better tmrw morning. off day!

well, but at least you have an extra 15 minutes to shout about

i don’t care if thailand was so-called unsporting.

i don’t care if singapore won too.

hell i don’t even care that the referee was blur like sotong who can’t control the teams or the linesman actually ALLOWING the team officials to leave their technical areas and go to the field while the match is still ON.

i don’t even care if the 3 compulsory cheers of the pet pet pet, we want goal and the go home blurbs are shouted out till the lungs almost came out.

shoite, i don’t even care seeing the sight of aide ‘da captain mahvul’ huffing and puffing and caught square by a pass that totally kills him off that leads to thailand’s goal which lead to sarip leaping up and down and almost got knocked down by someone.

what delights sarip totally though, is the sight of raddy the coach shouting to indra and telling him what to do and star playuh argues back and then moments later kena substituted. for a moment in time, sarip was actually rooting for singapore. and he did the wave too and threw his torn confettis. it lasted for 5 mins.

but leaving the grand dame of kallang, sadness fills this heart. hell with the match man, that’s the last time kallang’s gonna be there. the last time climbing those steps. the last time sitting at those seats. childhood memories were made there. father and son relationships got stronger from there. friendships were bonded there. it’s a national landmark, and it is sad that the future generations won’t be able to feel or touch a piece of history.

the place where sundram bicycle kick to goal. the place where steven tan dummies the opponent. the place where abbas scored that 2nd goal against kedah in the semi finals of 94. the place where kadir yahya ruled the right flanks. the place where terry p throws his very long throw ins. the place wer malek controls the park. the place where lim tong hai scored the 2 own goals vs myanmar in 93. or hasnim haron and michael vana doing their best in 92. and the place where dollah salleh gelek everyone. too many to recall, too little of memorabilia.

goodbye, kallang.