hip hip hooray

H to the izz-O,
V to the izz-A,
Fo’ shizzle my nizzle,
he’s gonna play in Suntek CT aye?


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imma having fever since last weekend. strange fever this is, not as severe as my *normal* fever, but definately this is the longest. it has not died down yet and it’s freaking me out.

because of the condition, this doc did not give me the normal Paracetamol, but this muscle relaxant thingy wingy. i was, “yo! wassup wif da pill?!”

but the nurse forced me to live it up. so i swallowed. twice. and the next thing i can see are tinkerbells and hummingbirds flying beside me. man, this is almost as good as the morphine i received a few years back.

and i’ve been popping this thing for the past few days, for every four hours.


but don’t misunderstand. yes, i am a mat and mats always have a thing for freaky fetishes. i don’t know why. other than chandu, i figured most of the intoxicants here in singapore are started out by mats. glue lah, ganja lah, and now this subutex. they’re very innovative to get a kick when no one suspects of the item beforehand. hell, the might even drink petrol if the dire kicks in.

no one predicted subutex to be very class a until the mats make it very big recently. but as i say, mats being the ever innovative, they might stamp on these muscle relaxants as the new substance before anybody notices it. just, a reminder.


watching the emmy’s this morning and seeing 24, the office, the daily show with jon stewart and what nots picking up the prizes make a very exciting glee to my 39 degrees celsius body temperature. no, it is not a case of a geek (partly) who had nothing better to do, but it is just a thought for those mediacork executives who blatantly (as usual) declares itself as the home of the emmys when none, i say that, NONE of the shows it is showing NOW won anything significant. for those who saw the advertisements, mediacork unembarrasingly proclaimed will lost and desperate housewives sweep off the competition pronto. hellloooooooooooooooooo? don’t you guys at mediacork do your homework? lost and d.h. were not EVEN nominated for best series and so how could you say such a sentence? tch. this can result in a defamation suit tau for anyhow say one…

this is the atypical of singapore. size so small, but yet ego so big. we need to practice some humility, some perspective and not thinking we are capable to be the best in everything. confidence is one issue, hubris is another.

and speaking of humility, check this out:-

whoa. brad pitt kaper…

it’s 1230 am and my brain fused out

when this site was set up, the main intention was for me to convey everything in malay. i am a malay mat, raised up in the culture and still living it till this day. however, ashamed it is so, it has not been keep up to pace lately. this, due to certain reasons lah. i am (still) trying to practice myself in expressing *better* english, better. the level is still not as proficient as desired, but as the cliche goes – practice make perfect, yes? also, in trying to inflate my ego further, i am dreaming to myself that by conversing in english, this site may appeal to a wider audience. i am still trying to figure that out with little success. BUT! as always, learning consists of many steps, and if there are any kind souls out there, do point out my mistakes for me to learn. evil souls are welcomed too.

i will still post posts in malay at times too for the same reasons as above. one step at a time.

anyway, to cut the long story short, the sole reason why i am on this verge of *self-reflecting* notion is to bring out the topic of idealising malay and its language. it may sound ironical and contradicting for it to be shared upon in english, but then who in this world may care, right? though i may be surprised if anyone will be bothered to read this up to this point. so before anyone will bleep out remarks such as, “this guy ngengada plak. inggeris dah berterabuh, lepas tuh nak handle topik pasal bahasa melayu…”, you can always clean the dusts on your keyboard and moved on.

if anyone of you reads berita harian each tuesday, there is this section written by Dr Liaw Yock Fang, teaching the readers on the wonderful fundamentals and history of malay and its language. for once, i thought, berita harian had become sensible to print out recognisable and reputable articles in its pages. there was this one article in which he wrote about the origins of malay, and how the language was developed. my description of the story is very vague, so i will just leave it to that. however, if you do happen to read berita harian on tuesdays, do check out his articles. i, for one, will be keeping his articles for keepsakes. what surprises me was that the history of malay is full of discrepencies and vagueness as compared to others. there is little documentation in regards of this, and it saddens me on why this is so. and the best part of this, most of the research and historical papers are collated by non-malays such as dr. liaw himself. but i may be ignorant and naive at this point, and who i am to fool? i am but only one and my knowledge is too shallow to make an observation.

there is also this wonderful article by mr alex yu of the yawning bread fame. the information is detailed and makes for very interesting reading.

i am very grateful for these 2 men to provide me and others these information. i have to point out here, that i had been ignorant on the historical part and this may had been produced by other malay writers, which i have to admit i have yet to recognise.

but that is not the point of this topic. it is just that i cannot understand why others and myself can’t recognise who our prominent historians are. i am a malay, yet i know very little of it. we live in a time whereby parents are concentrating more on the importance of english than our own. i do understand english will be an important commodity for the child’s future, but what i cannot relate is the accusation of communication in malay is backward trending. this is not the first time i have brought up this subject, and i do sound like a broken record with no other content to bring out.

i have just this crazy theory on the impact of the redundancy of the malay language if it is not kept. the malay leaders often keep emphasising on our social issues that is eroding our values as a whole. shoot me if you want to, but i guess the main problem with malays at this time is not the issue of drugs usage or abusive families but it is the erosion of our malay(ness) identity. it is not a surprise to many, that many malays are not proud to proclaim themselves as one. they feel the values of being a malay is one that is not highly important, and sometimes i for one do feel subjected to this. it is contradictory then when we are ashamed is due to the actions of our own people. i do not know how to express this well, but we can observe that it is a vicous cycle that is slowly eeking out our identity as a race altogether. we rarely value our language and history. we feel that it is not comfortable to engage communication in malay. if this continues, then the term “bahasa menunjukkan bangsa” will forever be lost from us. it may sound inappropriate at this time, but if this situation continues, we shall see more social problems like what is happening now. as we let go of our language and heritage, we will lose our identity, our focus and would not know where we belong to. and the cycle will continue.

so, what shall we do about this? how do we put pride back into our own identity? how do we remove all the stigma, negativity and perception of our own heritage? i want my malayness back, like in the good ‘ol days of the 50s and 60s. i want to converse with my malay friends in our own proper language. i want to be comfortable and others too in this zone of malay-ness. i want to be proud of being one. i want and i want.

and hopefully, one day it will become a need.

“hady was bulu roma ternaik awesome!!” – far

well done to that mat. though i do wonder how it’ll sound like if he sings…

“..kaulah satu satunya, club lagenda….”

perpectively, that will be more appropriate for today’s concept, betol tak?

now with all the hady mania, i wonder what will happen to the taufik’s (sic!)angels. ya know the clad-in-white *bitches* (hic!) who dressed up in whatnots during the last time round?

anyway, hady’s dad mee reboost is bayek. a true ang mo kio malay institution. or so. oh well.

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eh this can or not?

One day in kambingpuraland, aidil lee checked his mailbox and received a mail from some human activists. perplexed, he asked one of his deputies, mr seng slick to review the letter.

L: ” slick ah, you come listen to this mail. i don’t understand what the fella trying to say ah…”

….As a network of the national, regional and international civil society organisations, we the undersigned express our grave concerns about the impending restrictions and threats reportedly being made that will hamper meaningful civil society participation at the upcoming WB-IMF meeting in kambingpura, 19-20 September 2006. These threats and restrictions will jeopardize civil society engagement with various inter-governmental bodies on strategic issues such as trade, aid, debt, sustainable development, human rights, peace and human security…

L: “what grave concerns he talking about lei?”

mr slick cooly takes his seat and with his stare, took out a comb to furnish his slick bob, shining even in the dimly lit room. his baritone escapes.

S: “ah lee, you must understand that he is giving you a clue. a clue to state that he is digging his own grave.”

L: “what should i tell him then?”

S: “tell him, – better still warn him – that should he continue with this, we’ll give him a spade.”

L: “a spade? to re-arrange the suddenly new sprouted trees along suntit city?”

S: “no, to dig his own grave to replace the suddenly new sprouted trees. those are just standbys for these incidents.”

L: “that’s all ah?”

S: “no. reply to him with this downloaded copy of fix you. he’ll understand. he does not want to swim with the fishes i can foresee.”

L: “ok. but then come listen some more to this.”

…we would like to highlight the importance of spontaneous and unrestricted civil society actions before, during and after the WB-IMF meeting.

we are also concerned by reports that only selected foreign organisations may be “allowed” to stage peaceful protests – waiving the rules that normally apply in kambingpura – and that like-minded kambingpuraans organisations will not be allowed to do so.We emphasise that freedom of expression and freedom of assembly, particular the right to organize and participate in peaceful protests are universal rights that should be enjoyed by all people, including kambingpuraans people and organisations.

we consider statements such as the one reportedly made by kambingpura’s slick minister, that certain civil society actions may “attract severe punishment, including caning and imprisonment”, as veiled threats towards civil society.

L: “how should i counter that leh? i want the world to see my kambings to roam freely without any restrictions, but now this fella write in this i must counter react, pronto?”

S: “don’t worry. we can use our members to potray that spontaneous and unrestricted civil society mentality.”

L: “how? and who are these members by the way?”

S: “our members. the one who voted for us last may, remember? we can ask that one pakcik with the songkok who likes to joget and waves the flag. he’s the one at the woozzaland stadium, remember? we can ask him along with those makciks who for some reason seem to be very enthusiastic at the polling stations waving our flags and clapping those 2 balloons which until now i do not know what it is called.”

L: “excellent! now the world can actually see pakciks and makciks in kambingpura and finally they will understand that this place is not in china! what about the other point, in which he said that kambingpuraans cannot demonstrate, only cipalang foreigners can? how the heck do these people know one?!”

S: “again, you can put this into a positive perspective. remember just the other day you just mentioned you want to bring in more cipalang foreigners here. now is your chance. we cannot trust our kambingpuraans to conduct these activities. they lack the class ok as they’ve been programmed since they were in the herd not to do anything purposeful until we tell them to do so. only foreigners we can allow them to do anything. it’s easier that way.”

by this time aidil lee was beginning to slap himself danabelachan style.

L: “brilliant slick! brilliant! eh you not buaysong ah the writer mention you in the mail?”

S: “please, i can’t be bothered less. with my voice, slick hair and incredible stare, even osama will quake in his boots. that is why he use quotes in those remarks.”

L: “ok suit yourself. eh got one more last paragraph.”

..Restrictions on peaceful civil society actions of any kind and threats of using cruel, inhumane and degrading punishments such as caning will only erode kambingpura’s credibility in the eyes of global civil society.

We look forward to your response to our concerns…

L: “so what should we do about this?”

S: “easy, we’ll do the most logical thing.”

L: “which is?”

S: “appoint joakim gomez as his liason officer. he’ll suffer so much from the droning soundscapes.”

L: “excellent! now let’s get back to work…”

And so he does.

Without realising that 2 more articles earlier this year were produced to bring out the attention of this.


Activists Concerned over Singapore’s “Caning” Threat

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the talented mr rip-lee

1. so mr lee ah, if i no talent but i overseas how ah? u will still want me or not?

2. worse, if i no talent and STILL in singapore, got any chance of me being deported or not?

3. by declaring talkingcock.com to the national public, can we talk cock and sing song further now without having our tongues AND fingers slashed?

4. or isit just a move so that you can be more appreciated to the intuhnet public ever since we all knew how hectic snakes on a plane was?

5. but then u say last time you want singabore to be a more of an open society so you want people to speak up more but somehow because of that someone kena fired. so what leh?

6. how come that time you guys mention publicly about donating $50000 to the lebanon crisis but no mention how much in actual fact singabore spent on the fireworks?

7. now national stadium closed down, where you gonna do the ndp parade for these 4 years (excluding the padang)?

8. how come you pointing your finger like shooting a pistol one? shoot who leh?

9. who created subutex ah? and while at that topic, what happened to the yishun horsepeetal?

10. in regards to the question posed, i know the answer! it is “The Maid!” cos those singaporeans still in singapore with little or no skills are only maids to everyone. little appreciated but needed urgently everytime. then if go against the *boss*, kena abused jialat jialat, cos “employer” think maid all stupid and useless but then cannot do without them. Posted by Picasa

and of course i wanna go for this one! yeay!

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hit him for all you want, sarip does not care.

he has been converted. for the better or worse, he won’t know.

it took him time and lots of self humility and the burst of a huge ego to finally settle on the ark.

the ark that is singapore idol. not in a sarcastic way as what sarip normally loves to do, but in a very entertaining perspective.

and believe him, he really wants joakim to win. he really does. yes, he really fuckin’ does.


who cares about the voice? when was the last time you really love a song with a beautiful voice? ziana zain does not count here. each time sarip’s dad turns on his karaoke and played ziana’s songs, sarip goes bonkers. simply because 90% of her singing will consist of utter screaming. yes, screaming, but the people lapped it up because they figured out loud voices that increases too 1000 decibels is related to be a good singing voice. no sirree here according to sarip. this millenia, we don’t care about the quality of the voice. we want honesty. yes, honesty. even if you cannot sing well, the least you can do is to try. not some obnoxious singer who knows that their pitch can make a fork bend. the population had moved on from there.

so i want joakim to win. yes. if snakes can take over a plane, joakim can take over the plain.

Ralat Dolat

Dari Berrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrita Harian nye lelaman lah.


DALAM laporan bertajuk ‘Lima sebab Chelsea akan terus berkuasa’ di halaman Sukan pada 5 Ogos lalu, dinyatakan bahawa tiada pasukan yang pernah menjuarai EPL sebanyak tiga kali berturut-turut.

Sebenarnya Manchester United pernah menjadi juara tiga kali berturut-turut pada 1999, 2000 dan 2001.

Dalam halaman Sukan pada 8 Ogos pula, terdapat kesilapan pada tajuk berita ‘Button menang di Hougang’. Tajuk yang betul seharusnya berbunyi ‘Button menang di Hungary’.

Kami meminta maaf di atas kesilapan itu.

destak destuk. it is so bad, it’s good! macam snakes on the plane!

thats right! it’s snakes on the muthafuckin’ plane!

use code 10 from now onwards

remember, the next time you fly on the plane please dehydrate yourself and remove any volume of hair gel from yourself or else you’ll be deemed as a terrorist.

in other news, ‘Tony Blair was warned 48 hours before the public that Britain faced a massive terrorist threat – but still flew off on holiday only hours later’ – The Daily Mirror.

but who cares about world politicks? crouch scored! that’s a miracle in my book.

and back to the notes then…

middle yeast

has not the israel government realised, that the majority of the population in the southern part of lebanon consists mainly of christians, and not the targetted nasrallah’s men?

maybe they’re looking for mel gibson’s remaining bootleg copies of the passion.

or maybe they’re trying to locate this illustrator. birdbrain officials sometimes cannot take a joke for a piss.

if you think shoulder pads or singing contests are over rated, let me suggest that *terrorism* is the muther of all.

someone should send the 4 million smiles commitee to the middle east.

or sending joakim gomez as the sacrificial lamb. just because.

maybe, that’ll end all, peace all.


and please no, stop sending smses and chain mails that consists of doa this and doa that is kind of irritating. worst, the message always ends with “please send this to 5 more people or else something big like the end of the world is gonna to happen”. if you wanna give a doa, just give it out. these are doas we are talking about, not amway by-products.

Hougang Buttoned

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Hougang Buttoned, originally uploaded by kampungdusun.

just when you thought you’ve seen everything from BH, this happened. haha!

button menang di hougang!

i don’t know how the reporter can relate hungary with hougang. dyslexic the reporter maybe not, how could it be? 2 syllabus against 3! possibly the reporter / editor says out his/her words while typing.”hhuuuuuuuuuwwwgang.” – sort of like a shortcut method, i reckon.

now the singabore authorities need not look further if they were to organise an f1 event here on this island. scrap the idea of having the race along the city area, do it here – at hougang! it’ll be the *next* monte carlo circuit, YAY!

simi ow gang kia?!
bo lei, wo hungary!
lanciau ni hungry?!



wonderful piece of an interview of one of my heroes.

My Best Friend’s Wedding

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there was once, while sitting at the void deck of my block, where he asked what life is all about. we were 22. and at that moment, i can see that he’d changed as a whole. lesser were seen of the yesteryears when he will do the para para hand dance at hyper speed, or lying stoned drunk under the LOVE sculpture. he’d changed, and moved on.

i met him first about 10 years ago, and the friendship strucked from there onwards. we travelled, gave encouragement and advises, and shared experiences through laughter and whatnots.

i remember him as one of those “real janji melayu” types. you know, the ones who said he’d arrived at 1 but actually will appear at 2. once bogey was quite mad because of this; that will be another story. i remember, when i used to head over to his place @ dover road, to hang out, when i don’t feel like going home. i remember the time, when my dad’s arowana committed suicide because it saw him – that mystery never seem to unravel itself till this day.

someone once said, a good friend is not one you spent time most with, but how it was spent with. you’ve come this far, and entering this new phase of life, we wish you all the best, and may God guide you well.

some pixs are here.

We are Singabore

why i hate to stay in singapore:-

1. it’s the only country in the world, or maybe the universe, that increases its fares *periodically* when its profits increases year after year after year.

2. it’s population go crazy for it’s fireworks as an excuse to be patriotic to the nation. bah.

3. it forces residents to pay for upgrading works when the town councils has funds that do not know where it goes to.

4. the media produces mind numbing shows and proclaims it is the best in asia when in actual fact it also produces the award shows in its home turf to give it to themselves. talk about giving a pat on the back.

5. the weather is hot AND humid. but the people still dressed dressed up like they are residing in belfast.

6. 66.6% of its people have little, guts.

7. it forces its 4 million people to smile whenever a big convention is being held here.

8. they covert westerners or atas foreigners more than its people and employs them for high position posts when similar capable locals can do it and then complains to the media why its locals do not want to take up jobs as cashiers and other low-level service jobs.

9. most of its people are not allowed to speak up.

10. it feels disgusted to know that its history was modernised by a swindling englishman who tricked a stupid as hell melayu sultan who should not be even called one.

to summarise, living in singabore can be summed up like this:-

image courtesy of talking cock.


hello kids!

tell your mommy and daddy and your berita harian forum that slayer will be coming to town. tell them that this will be very educational and time fulfilling. there’ll be lots of fun filled events for the whole family!

and it has come to a point whereby singapore idol is fuckingly irritating. what’s the point? all of them will mostly vote for the *oh! he’s so cute but can’t sing well!* category. give me a break. i dont even understand why people are still intrigued by it. are the people to *dumb* to realise that this competition, or the lack of, is a farce? it is an open debate to point the finger either at mediacork for producing this show or the public themselves who craves for mind-numbing shows. and it is an open secret anyway that the winner for this year will not be signed as a recording artist for bmg. so, what’s with all the hooblabla?

come on! scrap this programme, or any other reality talentimes. we must realise to a point of time whereby real musical talent won’t come up by singing other people’s songs and *trying* to act cute infront of the camera.

on that note, give me the pussycat dolls anytime, anyday. heh.