Only “hear” the good news

I gotta be honest with you george…the incumbent is xxx xxxxx the best we have got. Our future xxx xxxxx depends on a good team that can xxx xxxx deliver. And they had deliver on our xxx xxxxx char kway teow and xx xxxx laksa and lift ungrading etc and those who xxxx xxxxxx do not know xxx that, ought to be hoot because, nobody should tolerate hootligans who cant debate on xxx xxxx policies because these big hooters deserve to join the xxx xxxxx universal pageant i believe.

So with that.Cast your votes wisely for xxx xxxx more xxxx good years to come!

and be xxxx appreciative ok!

+++

Signs There’s Something Wrong with the Election Rally You Thought You Were Attending

We, The Citizens Going round to hear the rabble rousing this week? Here are some signs that the political rally you’re attending may be something wrong…

1. They won’t let you leave before you watch a 2 hour video presentation of time share condos in Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan and Baluchistan.

2. There is a lucky draw.

3. Everyone else around you is naked.

4. The emcee pulls the stage curtains aside to reveal a giant, drugged out gorilla.

5. At the stadium, two groups of men suddenly appear and start kicking a spherical object around.

6. Cheers and applause as Osama appears onstage.

7. You are surrounded by senior citizens wearing cowboy hats and boots, getting ready to “dosey-do”.

8. The SWAT team taking up positions around the venue.

9. All these people crying around a coffin.

10. Instead of electoral candidates, the stage is full of MediaCorp artistes preparing to do dangerous stunts in the name of charity.

11. There are no agents lurking around taking down notes on what’s going on and who’s attending.

— Talking Cock

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