100% Feel New

i’ve always admired talkingcock for their wit. and then this come out for me to ponder.

Nowsaday, Gahmen and our bosses keep asking us to give 100% or more in whatever we do. But… exactly what is 100%? How can you give more than 100%? When people say they’re giving more than 100%, what do they mean? What if you thought you were giving 102% but actually only gave 99%? So what do you have to do in order to make sure you’re giving 100% or more?

We asked the mathematicians in the Political Calculations Department of NUS to share with us their formula for success in Singapore:

First of all, take the alphabet:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Assign numerical values to each alphabet, e.g.

A = 1, B = 2, C = 3, D = 4, E = 5, F = 6, G = 7, H = 8, I = 9, J = 10,
K = 11, L = 12, M = 13, N = 14, O = 15, P = 16, Q = 17, R = 18,
S = 19, T = 20, U = 21, V = 22, W = 23, X = 24, Y = 25, Z = 26

Then:

S+T+U+D+Y = 19+20+21+4+25 = 89%

H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

So those won’t work! On the other hand:

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

N+E+P+O+T+I+S+M = 14+5+16+15+20+9+19+13 = 111%

But check out how far kissing ass will get you:

K+I+S+S+I+N+G+A+S+S = 11+9+19+19+9+14+7+1+19+19 = 127%!!!

So it’s now proven with mathematical certainty that while study and hard work can get you near 100%, it’s attitude that gets you there, while bullshit, nepotism and kissing ass will take you the furthest. Q.E.D.!

*******

have you bought any sony cds recently? well, do check with your item as it may contain some undesirable items that may be hidden in your system. i think lah, pasal this fella’s article is too long for me to understand, but it’s etched here and thereabouts.

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