pride & prejudice fever-uh


official movie site.

Elizabeth Bennet: He’s been a fool, then so have I.
Charlotte Lucas: We are all fools in love

Mr. Darcy: You must know – surely you must know that it was all for you… I would have to tell you, you have bewitched me body and soul and I love and love and love you. And never wish to be parted from you from this day forward.

oh kiera, you’re the sek.

singapore suckers

eh lanciau ah singapore soccer. sponsor here lah, promote here lah, but still same ol’ story. cannot score, no big match mentality, play with no hard, ony balls they know are their own.

they get paid so much and yet all squeak like little rats when the pressure is on them. how leh they justify their salary? if this type of performance happens at a company i tell you all sure kena sack. the ya ya papayas won’t even be recommended for future employment.

you know what’s the main problem with the team? i tell you what – too many mats. mats who think they are playas but ain’t noe the game when the bullet pinches in. they must be thing:- ‘apa mau main. gua tak main bagus pun tak per. balik nanti gua ada club mau amik gua bayar gaji 5k main bola tak payah buat apa apa.’ it’s not that easy speaking, hyphotheticly. but i tell you ah, that i think is the main problem one. these players all think the same. got money, for what play so hard. and that’s why i still until now cannot understand why these clubs in sial-league keeps paying them a lot. you ony good in your homeland for what? might as well don’t pay right? i tell u ah after that nkf story, someone must look into where the money goes to in paying these clubs.

they complain the field very bumpy right? professional players will even struggle to play on them they say. then i suggest a solution – why not u all play barefooted, ah? field not good lah, this lah that lah, then when you cannot score even after 25 chances what you gonna blame on? luck? lanciau ah luck. someone say, if u always blame on luck, then like that better don’t waste the money go travel here and there, play match there and thinking you will do good.

a reporter today wrote, sports are based on merit basis here before they are sent for international competition and the amount of grants they received. looking at the state of soccer players here, i don’t know how justifiable are they being meritted.

my only suggestion, u gonna get that type of pay and results are demanded, i tell you lock up them in a boot camp cannot go out for one year make them suffer like hell. if possible to the extreme, castrate them. then they know what is it like to represent the country while eating up the country’s money.

nahbeis.

113303483076412533

it dawned upon me, in the cubicle of all places, that i am really in a mess.

i don’t know what i want and don’t know what i’ve to do.

i am approaching 30 and my life is still pretty stagnant.

i am pretty much in lack of a lot of things.

but i talk too much.

what should i do? i thought that the re-education thing that i am going through right now is a step, but the fear creeps into me whether or not to justify if it is too late.

i hope its not. i still try to believe myself to be patient, for another 3 years till i complete everything.

but what am i to do within these 3 years?

i told myself to quit this job, but i am so afraid, tired even to see if there is anything out there for me.

who’ll employ me at this state of my life? how valuable can i be?

yes, it’s come to a point to ask myself how valuable my soul is.

but i still do nothing about it, but just let the world past by me each day.

somebody, hopefully will help me. because i can’t help myself.

it is that sad…

a rant

you know what i hate?

i hate of those fuckers who 15 years down the road still rambles on how top 10, 20 or even 30 percent they are during their PSLE days.

hello??

we live in this society who proclaims that we are moving on from the academia, bringing in the concept of total education to the next generation, and what do we have here? someone who rambles on how top they were during their long before days. i’ve friends who were the top of my batch ( as a reference before they swipe at me) and not once, not once they mentioned about what upon 300 scores they’ve got. the only reason i can comprehend why the suckers want to mention their scores to everyone is just to show how great and important their stand is. ‘oh you are so clever! and great!’ every single detail that strikes ‘this may make people go whoa on me’ be voiced out, be it the house or love life or anything. i don’t have responsibility in their life and neither do they, and god helps the day comes when they mention, ‘at least i make more money than you’, but i just have to ask this – is tell all, say all, the best satisfaction thing that you can achieve? like they say, no smoke, no fire…

so let the world know about everything, cos everyone wants to know a life of a tell all somebody..put on that stage ya’all

RIP: Best, George

George Best: 1946-2005

The Best Man Of The Match
Thursday November 24 2005

By John Nicholson

George Best was the greatest footballer ever to grace the English game, the best that many ever saw, possibly the greatest there ever was. John Nicholson remembers a man that none of us will ever forget.

He played a hell of a game. And now that his numbers come up on the Subs’ board of life, it’s time we gave him a rousing send off. Man of the match. Man of every match.

Georgie Best touched me and my generations life in the same way as the Beatles, Bob Dylan, Jack Kerouac or Jimmy Page did. He was that important. He was simply a cultural and sporting force of nature.

He was a far, far bigger phenomenon than any footballer today. It may be hard for younger fans to understand just how profound the impact Bestie made from the mid 60’s onwards was.

He all but invented modern football by himself.

He didn’t even look like any of his contemporaries. Put him in the Man United team today aged 18 and he would still look and play like a modern footballer. He’d fit right in, only he’d be far better than any player they have now, including Rooney. He was that ahead of his time. He was new, exciting and utterly utterly brilliant. He was in every way a man without peer.

Bestie invented the footballer as rock star concept without really trying. In an era of stout men of grit and muscle, Bestie was a thin sliver of a boy blessed with ball skills that were breath taking. The old films shows him bamboozling defenders like a magician doing tricks. All the more remarkable because he did it in an era when you could hack someone down and get away with it. But Bestie was rarely injured. He’d gone before they could get near him.

And what the old films don’t show you is the effortless way he moved across the pitch with or without the ball. He glided through the air like a ghost.

It was perpetual poetic motion. No other player I have seen since could run with the ball as easily as without it. He ran with perfect rhythm and poise. He seemed to barely touch the pitch with his boots. And no-one needed the benefit of hindsight to realise we were witnessing a genius. It was in your face. You couldn’t ignore it. Whoever you supported. We all knew.

His European performances in the 60’s in particular were moments of the highest art. No-one could quite believe it. He was so much better than any of his contemporaries and it was all so effortless to him.

But, of course, it wasn’t just the earth shattering football that Bestie will be remembered for. He was a fashion icon, even despite being in Grattons catalogue.He had great hair, great side burns. Like all rebel spirits, he wore his shirt untucked and socks rolled down. He bedded Miss Worlds and other more beautful women with his charm, good looks and money.

He was the very epitome of rock n roll football and there will never ever be his equal. Ever.

Maradona had all the talent and the addictive personality too but he was never a charming, beautiful man. He didn’t have the swagger or the poise of The Great Man. He didn’t have the poetry or the soul.

It’s worth remembering that Best retired when he was just about 28. Yes there was all the adventures in America, Fulham and even Barnet but in a way, they didn’t count. When he left Man United his real career was over. We knew it even then.

But what must it have been like to know that you were the brightest of all shooting stars and to know that all the world would love you just as long as you were? What must it have been like to burn so brightly for little more than 10 years and then have to live the rest of your life knowing it would never really be as good again? What pressures that would bring to bear on your soul is something we can’t understand.

And of course as well know, Georgie had his problems. Problems that eventually took him from us. At the highest levels of the arts, people are different. They’re not milk toast people who are always easy, pleasant or accommodating. The spirit of genius doesn’t always allow that. Maybe they feel too deeply, have too much vision and see the world differently to us.

You can excuse it or condemn it but it doesn’t alter the truth. Artists are different and Bestie was an artist of the highest order. He was imbued with the spark of the divine. The light of the immortal but it seems that the deal between God and the Devil meant that to have this genius, to even be called Best, he was in return to be possessed and ravaged by alcoholism.

None of us is perfect. We f**k up. We do the wrong things and behave badly and Georgie was no different but the reason so many of us can’t bring ourselves to say a bad word about the man is because he gave us so much in his playing days. In fact, I still feel like I owe Bestie something personally for all the awesome entertainment and artistry he gave me. For the inspiration to try to be creative, different and even to be f**ked up.

I just feel grateful to have seen him and to have been in the world at the same time as him.

And I think in our heart of hearts most of suspect that had we been him, with all that genius and the world literally at our feet, we too might have gone off the rails too. I’m not casting the first stone and I don’t think it’s anyone else place to either. After all, no one get’s out alive.

A poet, a rebel spirit, a revolutionary and a footballing aesthete the like of which shall never grace our lives again. Thank you Georgie Best; Superstar from all of us mere mortals.

the economist is vair misty

oh dear me.

at the rate i am going, the dreams of having my face planted (anywhere) on the Economist seems to be fading away. i don’t know why, but i am taking such a blardy long time to cover chapter after chapter. the exams are only in a few days time and i am still ponderring and frighteningly fascinated why mc=mr makes good sense.

nak jadi economist aper kalau jakun pasal tuh benda.

i wish i could buy more time in covering, let say, 13 more topics. and i have this tendency to not go with the flow. i love to skip topics. one moment im coverring on supply, the next on international trade. like, so unsystematic. my mind wanders like that. the concentration level can be gone in a snap of a finger.

oh well, better go watch that liverpool match now. i say that makes very good economical sense.

there goes that dream i say…

Hem of anorak, stem of wallflower, hair of doormat

dear kids,

please listen up. the wait is over.

miss bush is back. back. back. now cheer up, ok?

*******

dear RIAS,

i read in the papers that you had already issued those *letters* to the download perpetrators, macam giving them a warning lah. wow, if never obey kena fine big big or even jailed up till 5 years. so don’t pray pray ah you all especially YOU, mr dol. the punishment is even more than using the nation’s public fund to install a golden tap in the office.

so now mr dol also a bit kepo lah, so he want to ask. if you say that fine hor is a punishment because downloads and sharings hor can reduce the artists’ income and all that, will the fine that’s received be given to them? or is it to your own one? got right mah, pay money must know where it went to. if not like that if you catch 1,000,000 people and all money go to you wah piang, this organisation like macam blue-chip company owedi. like that oso mr dol want to work for you leh. but i oso wonder ah, if let say hor, those songs belong to the artists, how come until now hor i neber see any artists come together and fine these people themselves hor? easier right like that.

and then mr dol oso want to ask one more thing. mr dol understands downloading music is wrong some sort lah because can “affect” the income one, then wat happen ah if mr dol download tv shows? you see, drama all that on tv free right? thats why they call free-to-air tv mah…so if mr dol download one show is that wrong? but if you say if it’s wrong, then if i buy my dvd recorder and i record that show technically oso wrong right? pasal no license mah…on or not? how leh like this?

wah piang so susah ah nowadays. got technology but oso kena mati…

rafflesial

pada suatu hari di tahun 1819…

wahai encik raffles, selamat datang ke singapura
nama saya sultan hussein, raja tiada negara
harap tuan raffles tengok muka saya
stern tapi dalam hati takut cam nak gila

apa kabar sultan hussein
saya raffles mat salleh yang banyak sen
tengok muka saya yang separuh bacin
harap sultan jual singapura, jadi saya dapat pencen

orang cakap saya raja bodoh
nak rebut kuasa konon2 bagi contoh
tapi you see, saya nak jadi hero
so saya akan jual kat awak, walaupun macam kapala butoh

hai tuan raffles, singapura ni panas
lebih lebih lagi di pantai tanpa jejatas
tengok tuan punya penjaga, topi macam nenas
patutlah tuan bawak ice mountain, minuman keras?

lain kali bila buat dokumenteri
harap tengok pelakon sendiri
blanjer mahal bikin produksi
tapi macam sial buat promosi

RIP: VIVA LA RAZA

i’m a wrestling fan. since young, me and my cousins, we love to re-enact the wrestlers’ moves and as a result of that lots of furniture has been dismantled, foreheads got bled, teeths got blunted and so forth.

this won’t be greeted with sadness too much for others, but i’m saddened by the sudden death of latino heat. no more low-ridin pimp rides, 5 star frog splashes, those lying, cheating and stealing choruses…

darn, i’m gonna miss his actions.

missing

the relationship between mr dol and consumer electronics is a strange one – it rarely lasted over a year. normally the break-up is due to terrible neglicence.

and thus this far mr dol had lost/spoilt:-
1. sally the nokia (2000)
2. sandra the nokia (2001)
3. sammy the siemens (2003)
4. salem the nokia (2003)
5. sonny the acer (2004)
and now,
6. sonia the canon (2005)

yes, thats right – mr dol lost yet another item. at the rate he is going, he doubts any insurance company wants to lease their products to him.

sonia has only been in possession in january this year and it had went together with mr dol on mostly good times, travelled places with him far and away, and capturing images that’s meant to be kept for a lifetime.

the last remnants of sonia was last seen at tampines st 84. mr dol fears for it since he stored a lot of ‘personal’ images innit. he hopes that whoever found it, he begged for it to be returned. or if at best, he hopes that no images will be manipulated over to anyone.

so he says, take care, to whoever received sonia. it’s your lucky day.

blardy lucky day actually.

thus i need to pacify myself. it hurts a lot to lose something which you thought of selling it off away at quite an unreasonable high price just a few weeks back *sic*….erm…ok lolita time.

+++

UPDATE: well apparently, one of the guests happened to find it. BUT APPARENTLY TOO, the bugger doesn’t have the ethics to return it and kept it. i don’t mind strangers keep it for him/herself if he/she found it on the road, etc BUT if you just so happened to be a guest at the wedding that you are invited, the least that you can honour your ownself is to return it to the head of the house. kan? kan? kan?! bless you soul whoever you are. may your concience and nasi beriyani be stuck in your gut. or if you have one in the first place.

100% Feel New

i’ve always admired talkingcock for their wit. and then this come out for me to ponder.

Nowsaday, Gahmen and our bosses keep asking us to give 100% or more in whatever we do. But… exactly what is 100%? How can you give more than 100%? When people say they’re giving more than 100%, what do they mean? What if you thought you were giving 102% but actually only gave 99%? So what do you have to do in order to make sure you’re giving 100% or more?

We asked the mathematicians in the Political Calculations Department of NUS to share with us their formula for success in Singapore:

First of all, take the alphabet:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Assign numerical values to each alphabet, e.g.

A = 1, B = 2, C = 3, D = 4, E = 5, F = 6, G = 7, H = 8, I = 9, J = 10,
K = 11, L = 12, M = 13, N = 14, O = 15, P = 16, Q = 17, R = 18,
S = 19, T = 20, U = 21, V = 22, W = 23, X = 24, Y = 25, Z = 26

Then:

S+T+U+D+Y = 19+20+21+4+25 = 89%

H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

So those won’t work! On the other hand:

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

N+E+P+O+T+I+S+M = 14+5+16+15+20+9+19+13 = 111%

But check out how far kissing ass will get you:

K+I+S+S+I+N+G+A+S+S = 11+9+19+19+9+14+7+1+19+19 = 127%!!!

So it’s now proven with mathematical certainty that while study and hard work can get you near 100%, it’s attitude that gets you there, while bullshit, nepotism and kissing ass will take you the furthest. Q.E.D.!

*******

have you bought any sony cds recently? well, do check with your item as it may contain some undesirable items that may be hidden in your system. i think lah, pasal this fella’s article is too long for me to understand, but it’s etched here and thereabouts.

raging against the machine

i am convinced mediacork has really ran out of ideas. each new show is the recycled bits of scraps from anywhere, or worst – a synthetic direct copy of other shows.

the brou ha ha surrounding the *new* program, tab tv, is just an another sensationalization farce that had been known by everyone else already. as i watched the telecast, the usual suspects of what makes a typical mediacork production is all there in aplomb – lots of smoke but no fire at all, especially when it comes to the conclusion which unsurprisingly ended it just like that. case in point for yesterday’s show – they’ve showcased a drama bit to show a *real life* case of the uncle who engaged in those relationships but ended up despaired, even though with his wife by his side – as if want to indicate a moral story lah like that.

now where have we seen that before? how many a times have these mediacork marquees been blaring out to the public about their *brand new* shows, something that is different that has never been shown before, A PREMIERE of sorts, but ended up with the same palette of items time and time again. i find watching sesame street is more knowledgeable and more indepth than these productions. i reckon the only *daring* bit that the show proclaimed were those *sek* scenes between the old apek and the women. so call want to try to invoke higher *ratings* lah and more *recognition* for trying to be different. what i can just say, that particular scene is damn disturbing, not because it comes to the edges of becoming soft porn, but seeing a semi naked old apek groping women is kind of disturbing. *better* sek scenes to bring in higher ratings does not include the one that was shown yesterday, if that was to be the intention all along.

so what’s next in the upcoming episodes? i reckon it will still be the same – same drama, scenarios and knee jerk endings without any sort of definative conclusions.

*****

this morning, the news blared out about the bombings that affected amman. as usual, the delegates from countries that are not part of the *axis of evil* lead out by the bushwhacker, condemns these actions by proclamining it as barbaric and inhuman. oh, how diplomatick.

now, there was this travel documentary yesterday showcasing the country of laos. there was this segment that shows the viewer the atrocities of what the predecessors of the bushwhacked had done during the vietnam war. the us dumped 2 million tons, TWO MILLION TONS of bombs onto laos during that period of time. and why did they do so when the war is actually on the other side of the border? it seemed that the army had an excess of these bombs so they have just to discard them, as quoted by one of the residents. if that is not barbaric, i do not know what else is.

and why oh why, when they did these atrocities, no head of state is condemning it at all?

eh alamak, better stop skiving and back to work….

hard to kill

when i was young, VHS movies were the bomb! my dad would frequently bring back tapes from don’t know where and sometimes i will sneak out at night to watch. i don’t know much about that *thang* in those days, so somehow The VHS was the first gateway of sorts to all things good/bad/however you want to acknowledge it.

and boys being boys, i like to watch those action-packed movies. the ones with all those high flying, high kicking, chest thumping, testorone rising flicks. you know, like platoon lah, born on the 4th of july lah, hamburger hill lah, you know those kinds. and it just so happens that those late 80’s was the time when steven seagal was The Man. he, with the smooth aiiiii-keeee-doooh moves. he, who doesn’t break a sweat when thousand fists come flying in. he, who managed to snog those women but still give the same stare when got dunked. he, who speaks with a wispery voice but somehow injected fear onto his enemies. he, who went into coma, grew beard, fucked a nurse, stayed in the countryside, trained all by himself, fucked the nurse again and still have the appetite for some old school revenge.

man, he was The Man when i was wearing shorts to school.

but i didn’t realise the fascination over mr seagal (it’s a weird surname – ‘sea’ & ‘gal’), can have a major impact in my life. nope, i didn’t suddenly became a super cool aikido master – only yellow belt ka-ra-teh! – but i’ve developed something that is more distinctive of him.

i’ve developed the steven seagal hair! :this thing is a worth it. big, brawny, and…dah macam STORM. and big. and wow! now, if only february can come sooner.

baru bleh jadi playa-aah…

i think i should get a goat. so as to help this. inspired by this. embekkkkk.

ok, rant over.

kassim tak selamat

i just only realised, malays are vair dangerous people.

how so?

does it occur to anyone else that hari raya is the only celebration, here and around, which greets them with ‘selamat’ (safe/take care) – when from my understanding others celebrate theirs with the greetings of ‘happy’ or ‘merry’ or anything that has to do with the emotions of happiness.

now how did this come about eh? eh? eh? what happened actually in the beginning? who derived it to ‘selamat’ and not ‘meriah’ or ‘ceria’ or (for goodness sake’s) ‘riang ria’?

something must be really fishy in this malay language. so convenient hor they substitute one thing and just put it up as part of its grammar. such as, “eh orang apa tuh yang kat dalam hutan???” will ultimately be answered with “oh, itu orang hutan..” and same goes to the babi too. like, too convenient kan?

and speaking of these raya celebrations, imma kinda irritated tau when guests come in their busloads, hogged the house for hours, not moving much to help around…you get the picture. next year if these convoys come about, i’ll designate a ticket for them to not overextend their stay and rationised their food consumption.

and NO CRYING KIDS!

maybe that’s why they greet with ‘selamat’ to take care of events like these…

eh ada gambar lah. dari slogan aziz cool (hyuk!) – “simple ajer”.

normally yang orang kena amik gambar kan yang malu, ni yang si photographer plak yang malu. apa nak jadi ngan hang pun tak tau.

al-kisah…

tykes of hazard

the people from this organisation must really, really and i mean really try their best to sell their ideas to cik dol.

it is a common knowledge that cik dol and little tykes don’t go well together. cik dol freaks out when sees one, and has intentions to choke on those who cry loudly. or talk loudly. or just blardy irritating.

sometimes cik dol wonders what will happen if – and it’s a big IF – cik dol does have a little devil.

but like they say, the more u try to avoid ’em, the more it’ll come back to haunt you. so everywhere cik dol goes, walks, sits, rests or whatever activity that cik dol intends to do, tykes of every kind will appear from out of nowhere. sigur rosz reminded cik dol that this is his retribution for hating them so much.

which is why now the exact reason why cik dol happily brought himself to work – just to bring him an excuse to not be at home trying to keep himself hold from pouring that hot sambal goreng on anyone’s child.

but here is the ironic part.

his workplace handles a lot of little tykes.

life, oh, life.

hari ini, hari itu, hari kemudian..

di raya aku berjalan
bersama ibu, ayah,
berpimpin tangan

ku menziarahi ke rumah mereka
saudara mara, datuk di semerata
singapura

walaupun tidak semeriah seperti dulu
oleh kerana ramai telah pulang ke alam restu,
tetapi tetap disambut, secara meriah,
bersama saudara mara, ayah dan ibu

apa akan terjadi pada masa hadapan,
tidakkan ku tahu,
mungkin kesemua akan berpisah,
mungkin kesemua akan bertelagah
tetapi apa yang akan terjadi,
ku akan tetap ingatkan dalam memori
memori menyambut raya,
dari kecil hingga ke dewasa
semua ingatan, ketawaan, persalaman,
akan disimpan untuk diingati
untuk dikongsi, dan dihayati

salaaaaaaaaammmmm bombay!

the past 2 days with nothing much to do, i plonked myself infront of the telly (what’s new) and immersed myself in indian-themed shows.

i love that monsoon wedding. vair nice, vair colorful. or just maybe the punjabi chicks are just hot, hot, hot.

and that bend it like beckham kind of kicks ass. i still remember the first time i watched it. somewhere in bukit panjang. no wait, i think i watched it only for the first 15 minutes. heh. oh, how time flies then.

so, 2 shows in a matter of days. then i thought, why not make it a triple threat.

with this.

If you have a lot of chest hair,
Show it like a FOB*,
Immigration coming to get you,
Marry like a FOB,

I’ve got the champals on my feet,
when im walking down the street,
and I make the best saag**,
when I want something to eat

I am a nice FOB,
I work in the IT***,
When you call tech support,
You will get me.

I am a bachelor,
And I work hard,
Come and marry me
So I can get the Green-card.

White people, they can’t understand me,
Their jobs are now in New Delhi.

* FOB, Freshly Off the Boat, aka. newly arrived immigrants.
** Saag (or Sag), an Indian spinach dish.
*** IT, information technology.

but hell, if that cracks me up, this one is the motherload.

from tian.

last day of ramadhan, and yeah, everything is still the same. this HAS to be the most un-profilic one, ever.

oh well, hope liverpool’s gonna nick it later.