Since dragon king will be speaking the rally this sunday, i like to imagine that his advisors spruce up the event unlike years before by tackling some of these issues:-
1. why mediacork keep re-producing food roadshows with same concepts and hosts but different titles and promotes it like its a godamn new idea with the announcer announcing, “watch the premiere of *******”?
2. when will singapore mps show at least some form of emotions during parliament – like our counterparts in messia (case in point rafidah aziz – she cried, you!) – rather than sitting at the back and stoning to the oblivious attention of the camera.
3. how come vs is thinking of putting off its tradition to rest by going co-ed? is it an innovative conspiracy on your gahmen policy to curb gay recruitment drives in all-boys schools? fyi, if that is the intention you’ve selected the wrong one, it should’ve been st pats. *HYUK!*
4. do you think JTC will offer any more recruitment drives as a result of its caring and responsible board of directors whom allowed mr andrew kuan to stay for so long despite his alleged failings? or do you think you will enforced punishments to the board for being very back stabbing?
5. why ah this year no have singapore idol? is it because mediacork finally realised that the show is actually pretty crapful in the first place or singaporeans are actually crap in talent?
6. so who’s gonna be your 2nd vice pm or watever? have you contacted t2 durian regarding of that post?
7. since the gahmen like to change and draw electoral constituencies lines, are we going to have a national project wer residents can actually draw out their property lines as and when they feel like it?
8. will singapore be the world’s largest distributors of chalk/crayon as a result of the aforementioned campaign?
9. since pap and p. diddy/diddy/puff daddy have same characteristics in terms of changing goals and electoral boundaries, will the party change its name too? how about pp – party people. one lest syllable is easier to get closer to the people as proclaimed by p. diddy/puff daddy/diddy/puffy.
10. will i get defame for this?
but as things go, predictability will always rise. so i expect that:-
1. you will wear a long sleeve pink shirt. or red. or watever red in hue it can be.
2. you will talk about terrorism and the actions being taken.
3. you will talk about racial harmony.
4. you will talk about the progress that had made so far.
5. you will talk that we had made progress but then we have to be prepared for the worst.
6. you will talk about a funny story which people had heard before but then no matter how dull it can be, your audience will laugh.
7. you will raise one arm ala alan shearer when you arrive to the stage and when going off it.
8. you will keep the speech notes for next year.
and thus, i conclude.