i didn’t do much after 3 today. but look, wat came out in the “My Received” folder.
heh heh heh.
king of current hip-hop against prince of melodica americana.
*scans around for a mr neubronner*
//
Error Message:
NTVDM encountered a hard error.
User Action:This is a Windows 2000 Executive STATUS error message. Choose an option from the message box. Contact your system administrator.
Congratulations! all problems please contact the personnel mention.
mutherfuckers manuals.
would you believe,
malaysians going to the moon
going to the moon…
would you believe..
nasi lemak is the meal
with teh tarik as the deal..
going to the moon is a serious business
yeah yeah yeah yeah
going to the moon cant be taken lightly
yeah yeah yeah yeah
but whats the deal with the food you’re bringing
yeah yeah yeah yeah
this is not malaysia boleh baby
yeah yeah yeah yeah
hey andy, did you hear about this one?
they’re bringing the food to no man’s land
with astranouts cannot run in 20 minutes
are you having fun?
would you believe,
malaysians going to the moon
going to the moon…
would you believe..
nasi lemak is the meal
with teh tarik as the deal..
//
who gives hurricane names? andrew? katrina? ivan?
if it is that damn destructive, cannot give a meaner name ah?
like, *i’m a mutheerfucker big destroyer* hurricane. so next time when they look back at history they can recall, “oh that town was mutherfucked big time before.”
or whatabout *carl lewis’s wind*? better than katrina. who IS katrina??
This year’s acts didn’t leave too much of an impression compared to last year’s. but one thing i’ve realised, the attendees are getting hotter than hot hot heat what with fort canning resembling a harem of luscious femme fetales. damn! it’s a buaya heaven i kid you not.
totally, rad.
//
we spent a day at the park and try to eksen reading. padahal, padahal..
1. every paper was headlining the dragon king’s rally battle cry. damn, he literally had the blue print written all over him – he was wearing blue for crying out loud. talk about stating the obvious, heh. and so bla bla bla, the papers were commenting about it, suddenly *new* singaporeans were extending their stories to coincide with dragon’s visions and the list goes on. that’s pretty normal.
there was this one particular article in yesterday’s paper however deemed to more *headliner* than dragon’s speech. a wonderful article written by mr john bradley commenting on the state of tolerency between every fucking one in this world. the significance of this piece of work, though there may be thousands more around, was that it not only points out the blardy obvious, but it shows how shallow most people are.
if you look around nowadays , muslim leaders are promoting messages by putting up banners in multi language forms to inform others about the state of the religion. my stand is that if more of these messages are being put afront – though however good the intention is – it can somehow generate different reactions from the irrational public. signs like these will only provoke more of these people from the outside and will perceive muslims as a community who has done wrong and pleading for leniency. you don’t see monks or rabbis or vicars come out to the public and apologise to the public for the causes of sars/bird flu/watever epidemic thats been created or the state of the mass genocide that befalls bosnians and palestineans. have us?
we have become puppets of this media frenzy and scapegoats for any issues that affects our normal lives. the the only way to smack these irrational people to shut up is to give them the facts and stamped it onto their mouths before they blurt out how *dangerous* our community is. every community and groups has their share of own good and bad, there’s no doubt about it. it is just how relevant and argumentative the mindless accusations are that involves the other party that prevails thereafter and how the matter is faced upon.
i do admire mr bradley’s article. it’s since been long until someone blurt it out to the singapore mass media.
2. my collegue pointed out that we have a very honourable member in our former school’s alumni. yes, we are the worst amongst all the all-boys school (in rankings, bleah), but then we can proclaim that he was amongst us. only in bartley that we can learn these tricks. hurrah!
3. i think my lecturer thinks i am very negative about the economic policy of singapore. he sneered when i replied *something* and i hope he won’t fail me or worst, label me as a dr csj wannabee. i detest that, csj is like a freak although he did sound quite logical in the recent pilot and jo show (those mats at pnj really werks.)
4. now children, the next time you do your alphabets, bear in mind that v stands for vendetta. you’re gonna need it young people, since you’re gonna be one of the first generations on this land to be born on the encouragement of your big, very big boss.
good luck to ya.
Set against the futuristic landscape of totalitarian Britain, V For Vendetta tells the story of a mild-mannered young woman named Evey (Natalie Portman) who is rescued from a life-and-death situation by a masked vigilante known only as “V.” Incomparably charismatic and ferociously skilled in the art of combat and deception, V ignites a revolution when he detonates two London landmarks and takes over the government-controlled airwaves, urging his fellow citizens to rise up against tyranny and oppression. As Evey uncovers the truth about V’s mysterious background, she also discovers the truth about herself – and emerges as his unlikely ally in the culmination of his plot to bring freedom and justice back to a society fraught with cruelty and corruption.
sounds familiar, kids? click then.
Since dragon king will be speaking the rally this sunday, i like to imagine that his advisors spruce up the event unlike years before by tackling some of these issues:-
1. why mediacork keep re-producing food roadshows with same concepts and hosts but different titles and promotes it like its a godamn new idea with the announcer announcing, “watch the premiere of *******”?
2. when will singapore mps show at least some form of emotions during parliament – like our counterparts in messia (case in point rafidah aziz – she cried, you!) – rather than sitting at the back and stoning to the oblivious attention of the camera.
3. how come vs is thinking of putting off its tradition to rest by going co-ed? is it an innovative conspiracy on your gahmen policy to curb gay recruitment drives in all-boys schools? fyi, if that is the intention you’ve selected the wrong one, it should’ve been st pats. *HYUK!*
4. do you think JTC will offer any more recruitment drives as a result of its caring and responsible board of directors whom allowed mr andrew kuan to stay for so long despite his alleged failings? or do you think you will enforced punishments to the board for being very back stabbing?
5. why ah this year no have singapore idol? is it because mediacork finally realised that the show is actually pretty crapful in the first place or singaporeans are actually crap in talent?
6. so who’s gonna be your 2nd vice pm or watever? have you contacted t2 durian regarding of that post?
7. since the gahmen like to change and draw electoral constituencies lines, are we going to have a national project wer residents can actually draw out their property lines as and when they feel like it?
8. will singapore be the world’s largest distributors of chalk/crayon as a result of the aforementioned campaign?
9. since pap and p. diddy/diddy/puff daddy have same characteristics in terms of changing goals and electoral boundaries, will the party change its name too? how about pp – party people. one lest syllable is easier to get closer to the people as proclaimed by p. diddy/puff daddy/diddy/puffy.
10. will i get defame for this?
but as things go, predictability will always rise. so i expect that:-
1. you will wear a long sleeve pink shirt. or red. or watever red in hue it can be.
2. you will talk about terrorism and the actions being taken.
3. you will talk about racial harmony.
4. you will talk about the progress that had made so far.
5. you will talk that we had made progress but then we have to be prepared for the worst.
6. you will talk about a funny story which people had heard before but then no matter how dull it can be, your audience will laugh.
7. you will raise one arm ala alan shearer when you arrive to the stage and when going off it.
8. you will keep the speech notes for next year.
and thus, i conclude.
sometimes i wonder why i ramble on too much – like expressing thoughts on matters that doesn’t affect me at all. like, wat made me bother so much? i should’ve the spirit of an honorable man (or something like dat), someone who defines masculinity, someone who indulges in *men* activities. not someone who takes into accounts of other people’s business and affaciandos and rant it over. or fall into reclusive compoundness whenever the mood swings by.
but no….i still indulge in those. but, why?!
and then it suddenly occurs to me, and which Air has frequently opinioned it to me, that i might be – HICK! – a feminite entity enhanced in masculinity complexity. (wah so cheem ah?!)
and to prove that point further, i love to watch girlie shows! goodness gracious me, how could this be?!
i watched the sisterhood of the travelling pants and i felt very fulfilled watching it. oh dear. wat masculine individual feels that way?!
i love the show. the pace is tight, the plot is believable, the casting (especially bridgette..mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm)is wonderful and the cinematography of the scenes changes accordingly to sense the mood. something like that lah.
but the buck doesn’t stop there. this person actually has films in his collection that has a genre dedicated exclusively to chick flicks. mean girls, little women, the joy luck club, divine secrets of the ya-ya sisterhood, maria full of grace, working girl et all…he loves them all. thoroughly.
goodness, scary mary.
i have to get this off my chest, fast.
called me anything, but i do have this very sick feeling everytime a relationship that’s new is being declared out as their hope for tomorrow.
love is a culprit; declaring to strangers is a bigger crime. why are people so prone to put their hearts on their sleeves and declares the love when they won’t know or forsee what the future holds yet.
what irritates the hell out of me most is to realise people declaring the previous loves like there is no tomorrow as recently as when local soccer was still a big deal and then surprisingly further down the road the exact declaration was made to someone else.
now, if you put this into a mathematical equation, it does somehow comes out to this:
dim x as variant
person + x = love
variant x means it can apply to anyone who somehow can have the attributes that enables to provide love which in defination by owen wilson in wedding crashers is the point of balance or something of connectivity of something. i think.
in further thoughts, wouldn’t anyone will think what danger love possess? what is the value of love for a person if variant x can be adjusted to any entity that is available in this world? put yourself in the entity of variant x and you will know sooner or later how valuable it is. or not.
i still value the institution of love, and still am adamnant about it. but love should be discreet in the initial stages. how pure it is if the love declaration and hope is transferred from one to another in a short term of months? i’ve looked back and realised i did succumbed to it before and acknowledged how foolish and ignorant it was to trust the sentiments of fast love which has been defined by george michael as,
But if you’re looking for fastlove
If that’s love in your eyes
It’s more than enough
Had some bad luck
So fastlove is all that I’ve got on my mind
or to put it on a local context it is like that of a typical channel 5 local production that blurbs out mindless promotions but with little substance which will be forgotten by the 6th episode.
i’m being naggy, petty and pathetic by doing this but i just have to say this, put those feelings under the sheets for the moment and do not put it out so fast like he/she is the hope of all ages or else it’ll will just get cracked.
i will definately receive backlash regarding this post and they will point it out to me on how to reiterate the values mentioned. i’m open for it but before that happens, please instigate what was written and ponder for a moment. if still not happy, don’t whack me hor.
UNLESS of course if you are bloodninja `cos he rocks.
i don’t understand national day. people get hyperactive all of the sudden, families in red and white stuttering along the roads, that irritating national song blaring everywhere everytime. feeling suddenly nationalistic has to be one of the best marketing swindlers in this age.
so to commemorate singapore’s national birthday, i came out from my closet and serve the nation in the best patriotic way – by getting out of the country.
and so i couldn’t take it anymore and left to somewhere near where a typical mat with little moolah can go – malaysia! it’s near, convenient and what more relevant place to be in terms of cultural history and signifigance. or something like that lah.
click pix to enlarge. heh.
we went to pulau tinggi, a place where singaporeans and crowds were non-existant, technology is dormant and tranquility in abundance. it’s way cheap too. (hurrah!)
the island was nice, staff were friendly, and because there were practically no one else in that side of the island, it practically belong to us. you can run naked over miles and miles of the beach and no one will report you to the authorities.
the island is a water nature park designated by the malaysian government. nature in its primary form is still in its abundance and activities are many. we went for a trek to the waterfall which unfortunately didn’t come to as expected as it is not the monsoon season. only have water flow, no have water fall. :
click pix to enlarge. heh.
the snorkelling at one of the mini islands surrounding pulau tinggi was nice, albeit a short time, non-season tide flow and me getting a nasty cut by the corals. ever the clumsy one.
basic amneties were, er, basic. there was no tv, phones, etc (you get the idea). unless you are a godamn urbanite-who-can’t-live-without-everything, it should be fine for those who wants to get out of the hustle and bustle and just lead a normal life with extreme privacy.
how to get there:
1. go to tanjung leman, a port 45 mins away from mersing, and book the ferry there.
2. ferry ride takes about an hour and leaves from tanjung leman around 2 or earlier if you’re lucky
3. there are only 2 resorts, prices are cheap and meals provided for all day.
some pointers:
1. the sandflies are very irritating. it sucks the blood in you and itches like hell. case in point – bring lots of whatever creams that you can think of to get rid of it.
2. the best times to visit the island is around may till july; weather should be clearer then.
3. the trek to the waterfall is quite difficult for some. slopes can be very steep and hazardous. it’s strange for the locals to not identify it for those going for the trek.
ok lah, got some more pixs.
i like city of god, and movies by focus features has always been pretty outstanding.
and then there’ll be this.
i don’t know what i am raving about anyway. it’s getting rather dumb working for someone. i’m thinking of quitting soon and lay on my bed for months.
if possible, be a waterbear. life will be so simple if then.
that dude of secondholocaust is really creating a buzz which, inevitably, will make everyone irked and be excited of. i won’t care if racists appear online, the bigger criminals are those who actually read his/her tales. the author is but of one, but don’t all of us have a degree level of racism too? how many times have we not poked fun at indians and their language, or any form of minority and not of a unfamiliar race? though it may not be to the level of that author, still it mirrors some part of an image. i still find it’s amusing to notice some faithful responders to quote religious passages to reprimand the author.
all’s well end’s well. we just need to chill and watch more cool videos.
Dear Colin Goh,
Do you have any positions vacant at your esteemed institution? I would gladly love to have the honour of sharing your ideas. Or even wash the cutleries.
I read your stories and tales with various degrees of excitement and comprehension. For me you are the only best satirical writer in this land. See I curry favour you like no tomorrow.
So because I’ve already do the curry, I want to keep some of your posts. The power of technology lah. If anyone complain, I sorry hor.
ANNALS OF THE DRAGON KING: Money for Nothing (and the Perks for Free)
Posted on Sunday, July 17, 2005
Topic: Diary of the Dragon Prince
Diary of the Dragon Prince Barry takes a charitable look at charities in his fictititious and completely imaginary diary.
10 July 2005 (Sunday)
Sunday night, and the whole familee was watching the Cancer Show on TV. It was organized by the Lampar & Kukucheow Foundation (“LKF”), a foundation set up to restore the testicles and penises of peasants.
Given the number of eunuchs in my court alone, that is a lot of cosmetic surgery that we are talking about.
The familee was busy making calls on their mobile phones to the LKF donation lines.
My bookie Ah Long tipped me that the odds of winning the top prize was better than that of the PeasantLand Sweep, 4D and Toto. No one in the familee knew how to calculate probabilities (not even me, with a First Class Honours in Mathematices), so we all took Ah Long’s word for it.
Being the smart emperor that I am, I know how to surround myself with intelligent and trusted eunuchs on whom I can rely for advice and wisdom.
The evening was interrupted by State Counsel Darthvader Singh. He arrived in all black: turban, shirt, pants and knee-high boots. He even carried a light saber. If looks could kill.
Darthvader tried to dispel the notion that lawyers have no sense of humour by cracking a joke. “Loong, I am your father.” That was lame. “And I am Yoda,” I replied.
Darthvader Singh came to consult me on the court case tomorrow. The LKF CEO Thambirajah Tharmadurai (or better known as T2 Durian) is suing the State�s Time for libel. Who do I want to win?
Darthvader Singh is using a tried-and-test tactic of the MIW: character assassination of the opponent. He is planning to spill the dirt on T2 Durian: a glass panelled shower, a pricey German toilet bowl and a gold plated tap, first-class travel, a $25,000 monthly salary, a bonus of 12 months, undisclosed directorships in companies, some of whom had business dealings with LKF. His road tax and car maintenance were also paid for by the company. T2 Durian also over-stated the number of patients LKF had. And despite reserves of $262 million, T2 Durian claimed that this can last LKF for only three years.
That is very good investigative work, I praised Darthvader Singh.
Darthvader Singh said he had a lot of help from his ex-intelligence officer friends at the State’s Times who have dossiers on every peasant. He assured me that there is no conflict of interest in having the defendant help prepare the case.
I took his word for it. After all, Darthvader is one of the intelligent and trusted enunchs whom the familee surrounds itself with.
But I pointed out to Darthvader Singh that what T2 Durian did was normal business practice among my MIWs. Such perks and privileges come with the position: extra fish-ball, extra-large discount on property, free air-fare to and from oversea hospital, offer of company directorships etc.
And don’t my mini-stars get free cars too? And T2 Durian’s $600K salary pales in comparison with my mini-stars who get paid a million dollars.
And as for exaggerating figures, who doesn’t tell a white lie or two? I should know: it is hard to be accurate about reserves, unemployment, economic growth, the number of
foreign talent in the country etc.
On the basis of such flimsy evidence, I told Darthvader Singh that it is not going to be easy for him to win the case. I decided that a draw would be the best outcome. The peasants get a sensational case to distract them from the daily grind of their lowly existence.
With elections coming, I also need a fall guy to showcase my whiter-than-white regime’s stand against corruption. Hee hee, if the peasants know better, they would think that there is a conspiracy.
Damn, I am so smart that I frighten myself sometimes.
Picked up the phone and instructed T2 Durian to end the wayang show
after two days.
Made a call next to Gandalf Tony and told him the bad news: I have decided to give Prata Nathan another term as President. However, I know of a vacancy coming up which could be suitable for you. It is only a five-figure salary but, with bonuses, you can still earn a million dollars. You get free perks like attending charity shows and meeting artistes and celebrities; free upgrades from business class to first-class when you fly; gold-plated taps etc. And certain medical benefits are free.
Damn, didn’t I say that I am so smart that it is frightening? But even the smart person that I am did not anticipate Gandalf Tony’s response: “You are kidding me.”
//
After London, Singapore Heightens Terror Alert Status
Posted on Sunday, July 10, 2005
Topic: Local News
Local News
by Nyonya Kway
In the wake of the barbaric London bombings, the Singapore Gahmen has issued a heightened terror alert for the island.
The Ministry of Defensiveness has activated reservists, beefed up security at key installations and issued a list of places that may be potential targets.
“The fact is,” said MINDEF spokesman BG Chin Kia See. “Just like London, Singapore is a member of the Coalition of the Boh Pia”, I mean, Willing. So that makes us a target for extremists too. We need for every Singaporean to keep their own lookout, especially when our defence forces are stretched to their limit doing important duties for the nation like setting up scaffolding for the NDP.”
MINDEF has issued a list of places that may be potential targets, including: Jurong Island, Raffles Place, Shenton Way, Orchard Road, in fact, all shopping centres, all hawker centres, supermarkets, normal markets, anywhere with ang mors in them, schools, bus stops, video libraries, community centres, public swimming pools, country clubs, parks, public toilets, MRT stations, MRT trains, anything to do with public transport, that solid chicken rice place near your house, your relatives’ houses, even those who stay in Ipoh, petrol stations, car washes, movie theaters, coffee shops, that bloody noisy Yorkie terrier who lives next door, BreadTalk branches, 7-11s, basically anywhere that you might possibly be going.
“OK, lah,” admitted BG Chin. “I know that the inability of the world’s top intelligence agencies to predict the London bombings makes it unrealistic for our own small-small homeland security team to accurately predict where these seow lang might strike next. But if you think that that’s going to stop us from diverting attention from high consumer prices, soaring Ministerial salaries, the growing income gap, state control of the media and diminution of civil liberties, then you have no idea how politics works.”
MINDEF has also asked Singaporeans not to let fear and panic rule their lives. Said BG Chin, “We must look at even terrible situations as great opportunities. So the Gahmen feels, for instance, that a period when people are scared, uneasy and afraid of risks, might actually be a really good time for an election.”
…which by the way may be held in the first quarter of next year. ayecarumba.
when a person gets older,
everything will become stranger
when the world gets further,
it’s your age only people matter
being 27 doesnt bring changes
but something’s will come later
only now he covers matters
so as to keep it for the better
i’ve no money at this stage of life
but i don’t care for what is to strive
you can be a tai tai wanabee or a ceo in a company
but does it really matter, if it all ends in strife?
in this age what i want to be
just a lay low person for everyone to see
i’ve lost energy to be everything
so ive this to say – just be happy, whatever is there to be
happy birthday to me, and to you this 1st anniversary.
