1. one.

From our birthday, until we die,
Is but the winking of an eye.

– William Butler Yeats




the chest pains were becoming very unbearable yesterday. it felt like someone is squeezing the inner organs of mine like what robocop will do when he squashes a tin can.

it’s that bad.

i tried to rest and plonked on the keyboard, but it didn’t work well. and suddenly, i thought that ‘this is it. it’s time to go.’

funnily though dying young has been some sort of a conquest some people (ahem, includes me) aspire for (last time lah). all my heroes die young. or those really famous ones lah in my mind. cobain at 26, hendrix (i think) 26, joplin…26? what about van morrison eh? and let’s not forget james dean and jeff buckley.

legends die young. though i figured out they are referred to as legends because people won’t be able to see their apparent downfall when they age. macam marlon brando lah. but i think sarip dol doesn’t fall into any of that category.

but anyways, i went to the doctor. he inspected, press here, press there. alamak i tell u macam nak terpekik when he did that. it’s that damn painful sia. bla bla bla, and ive to go for another checkup next week. lo and behold….

…im still alive and smoking.

then again andy kauffman passed away when he’s 35. so let’s see.


British Prime Minister Tony Blair said on Tuesday much of the world had dropped its guard after the initial shock of the September 11 attacks and urged that “not one inch” be given to terrorists. more.

hello mr prime minister of gb, or britain or whatever lah,

i would like to point it out to you that the world – of yours and your fellow cronies – had became much more paranoid after that event. as far as i can remember, i recall countless news footages of you and da cronies speaking vehemently for your crusade against i-don-noe-who.

to make a remark on this just makes me wonder somehow if have you been diagnosed with some sort of dyspraxia or too excited because you assumed the public still adores you or you are just plainly ignorant because of the fact that you don’t have a single clue as to what is going on and why so in the first place?

minorities are becoming scapegoats in your zeolous pursuit of popular votes and power. looking at your comments just made me think whether margaret thatcher was that bad after all.

so now go and do more press conferences, and indulge in these stereotypical comments. you know the media loves you with that suave and boyish demeanour.

or else that shahid dude will get very angry.



setiap tahun pabila persidangan umno disampaikan, mesti ada beberapa skandal yang dipertengahkan. sidini makan rasuah lah, sidituh hancurkan nama lah, sidini pecah tembelangkan lah, sidituh nangis lah, sidini tak puas lah dan macam macam lagi lah.

nasib baik samy velu takde. kalau tak, agaknya si “pengganas” di london pun agaknya jatuh pengsan.

tapi macam beginilah rangkaian melayu. dari makcik bawah blok, ke mat yang sedang taip ni benda hingga ke ahli politik di tanah melayu…mesti ada isu yang nak diperbesar besarkan. tiap hari minggu lalu saya tonton buletin utama (takde pilihan beb), seringkali nampak sidini melalak macam burung merbuk tak boleh terbang, sidituh berteriak pasal resolusi tak menjadi, sidini cakap dia takde harapan lagi…

apa nih?! selalunya kan persidangan parti patutnya mempertengahkan isu isu untuk menolong dasar negeri dan kemasyarakatan? tapi saya tengok diaorang macam dramatis yang sedang berlakon dalam drama swasta terbitan. cuma yang kali nih diaorang nye pelakon mempertengahkan kelakonan mereka dengan sungguh *oomph*. cuma dialog ajer yang sikit tak kenal tempat pasal cuma asik pekik sama suara nak nangis ajer.

skandal seperti nih macam tak habis habis lah. dari zaman musa hitam sampai sekarang semua nak rebut kuasa. semua tamak haloba. semua nak mempentingkan diri. kalau begini telah terjadi, apasal diaorang jadi ahli parti pada mulanya? macam muslihat kan?

apa nak jadi ngan diaorang pun saya tak tau. agaknya satu hari nanti nama parti akan ditukarkan dari itu kepada, “U Malay? NO!”


eh maccow. skarang polis london nak suka tembak tembak orang kat sana.

apa nak jadi kat diaorang nih. macam bodohkan? seperti apa yang selalu dipertengahkan, keganasan akan hanya timbulkan lebih keganasan. hanya resolusi, kesefahaman dan dialog boleh menghuraikan keadaan begini.

tuh takpe, yang buatkan saya takut, nanti si gahmen singapura nih pun akan syiok sendiri ikut cara si polis owang putih tuh.

saya bukan takut pengganas. saya takut orang bodoh bawak pistol pasal dengar arahan orang atas lepas tuh dapat sijil konon konon atas keberanian dan lepas tuh dapat bonus 3 bulan.

macam nih saya nak pakai helmet besi bila naik mrt lah.


i heard from around that baybeats was not received well this time around.

aha! i thought of letting out and shrieked, “told ya so!” but for once i rather be (a bit) politically correct.

you see, events like these will have, sooner or later, their expiry date. it’s like a novelty, a fad, a statement even. i have to applaud to the organisers, but definately not to the $500-million-singapore-pools-and-taxpayers-money-organisation, for their ambition, determination, inspiration and perspiration.

logistics is a chore and a bitch to finalise, yes?

but back to the case in hand. i realised from 2 years ago, and then last year that this event has been recycling its programmes, personna as well as attitude. how so?

let me give some pointers:-

1. the players
raise up your hand on which band others have not seen? true enough there ARE some that haven’t played before but using the calculations of the brain doesn’t it bewildered you that somehow you may have seen 3/4 of the bands performed before with roughly the same materials? so it comes to a point to make you wonder, how different it is to attend and look at the performance during baybeats? loyalty is a case in hand, experiencing something new is another.

i figured it has become stale and unappetising. like a soiled toasted bread in the morning. i love toasted bread in the morning and spread it with wonderfully flavoured philadelphia cream cheese. mmmmmm. but then, i dont like it soiled. it feels empty, ya know.

so how do we changed this scenario? why not cut down the number of invitees / performance of these (unneccessary) bands. make it a more compact festival. 3 days is way to ambitious for a festival only 4 years old with many repetitive performances. it doesn’t have to always be new materials for performance to be a pre-requisite, but heck just a new breath of air lah.

solution? cut it short from 3 days to 2. decrease the number of bands. improve the quality of performance step by step. add more buffer zone in between performances, just in case encores are being requested by the audience. (this is supposed to be a gig, not a class recital,so give more freedom lah beb)

2. the attendees
some complains were directed to the “kids” who made attendence and bringing down the repute of such festivals. to argue about this point is like an argument why the sky is blue and the grass is green. it’s inevitable, kids WILL come. it IS free of charge, and yes i won’t blame them to attend because it is one place wer u can cuci mata until u cannot have mata at all. adults WILL complain that they don’t belong there, but what right is there for them to argue? attendees should know better that they will come for all the reasons being said out before.

adults will always demand their exclusiveness and rights beforehand at such, but please lah most of them attend too as the same reasonings as these kids also. i know if i were to come i would like to “cuci mata” , “act like a mother fucking cool indie poster boy”, and at the end of the day i will ask, “music? what music?”, bar one or two lah.

solution? if you do not want kids to attend, have a freaking entry charge for a 2 day festival. $20 like that. (but then due to the “overwhelming response”, esplanade will definately incur charges, sooner or later. must recoup back that $500 million mah.) and to tackle the “hey-look-at-me-im-fucking-indie-cool-look-at-me-godamnit!” problem, we can activate the redundant cisco guards to pursue this issue. “WOIT! CISCO HERE! DON’T TRY TOO LOOK SO COOL YOU PUNK!” see? useful, kan?

3. the security
easy. if the management wants total security, order everyone to deposit their bags at the entrance and not allow patrons to wear clothes or anything. simple? security to the max like dat i tell u. but then mr management, i doubt those-indie-punk-emo-whatever people are bothered enough about politicks. it aint cool enough, ya noe?

baybeats will change, i hope. if not people will get tired of all the hoo hah being served with these things over and over again…

this, speaking from a person who has skipped the past 2 though.

rant over!


1. i loved the weather so far. it’s cool and very shiok! but, i blamed it for my undoing today.

i skipped work.

2. i do not want to blow any bubble, but i am really excited for august. and the reason being, school will start soon and yes, i am a jakunised mat who likes to go to school.

all for the wrong reasons.

but ever the procastinator me, i’ve yet to pay the registration fee.

(buck up damnit!)

3. i thought my pc is not vunerable to virus attacks, but hell it finally did. this created the most unusual incarnation of computer malfunction, thus far. so now we know…

4. and yes, this.

’nuff said.