the chest pains were becoming very unbearable yesterday. it felt like someone is squeezing the inner organs of mine like what robocop will do when he squashes a tin can.

it’s that bad.

i tried to rest and plonked on the keyboard, but it didn’t work well. and suddenly, i thought that ‘this is it. it’s time to go.’

funnily though dying young has been some sort of a conquest some people (ahem, includes me) aspire for (last time lah). all my heroes die young. or those really famous ones lah in my mind. cobain at 26, hendrix (i think) 26, joplin…26? what about van morrison eh? and let’s not forget james dean and jeff buckley.

legends die young. though i figured out they are referred to as legends because people won’t be able to see their apparent downfall when they age. macam marlon brando lah. but i think sarip dol doesn’t fall into any of that category.

but anyways, i went to the doctor. he inspected, press here, press there. alamak i tell u macam nak terpekik when he did that. it’s that damn painful sia. bla bla bla, and ive to go for another checkup next week. lo and behold….

…im still alive and smoking.

then again andy kauffman passed away when he’s 35. so let’s see.


British Prime Minister Tony Blair said on Tuesday much of the world had dropped its guard after the initial shock of the September 11 attacks and urged that “not one inch” be given to terrorists. more.

hello mr prime minister of gb, or britain or whatever lah,

i would like to point it out to you that the world – of yours and your fellow cronies – had became much more paranoid after that event. as far as i can remember, i recall countless news footages of you and da cronies speaking vehemently for your crusade against i-don-noe-who.

to make a remark on this just makes me wonder somehow if have you been diagnosed with some sort of dyspraxia or too excited because you assumed the public still adores you or you are just plainly ignorant because of the fact that you don’t have a single clue as to what is going on and why so in the first place?

minorities are becoming scapegoats in your zeolous pursuit of popular votes and power. looking at your comments just made me think whether margaret thatcher was that bad after all.

so now go and do more press conferences, and indulge in these stereotypical comments. you know the media loves you with that suave and boyish demeanour.

or else that shahid dude will get very angry.



setiap tahun pabila persidangan umno disampaikan, mesti ada beberapa skandal yang dipertengahkan. sidini makan rasuah lah, sidituh hancurkan nama lah, sidini pecah tembelangkan lah, sidituh nangis lah, sidini tak puas lah dan macam macam lagi lah.

nasib baik samy velu takde. kalau tak, agaknya si “pengganas” di london pun agaknya jatuh pengsan.

tapi macam beginilah rangkaian melayu. dari makcik bawah blok, ke mat yang sedang taip ni benda hingga ke ahli politik di tanah melayu…mesti ada isu yang nak diperbesar besarkan. tiap hari minggu lalu saya tonton buletin utama (takde pilihan beb), seringkali nampak sidini melalak macam burung merbuk tak boleh terbang, sidituh berteriak pasal resolusi tak menjadi, sidini cakap dia takde harapan lagi…

apa nih?! selalunya kan persidangan parti patutnya mempertengahkan isu isu untuk menolong dasar negeri dan kemasyarakatan? tapi saya tengok diaorang macam dramatis yang sedang berlakon dalam drama swasta terbitan. cuma yang kali nih diaorang nye pelakon mempertengahkan kelakonan mereka dengan sungguh *oomph*. cuma dialog ajer yang sikit tak kenal tempat pasal cuma asik pekik sama suara nak nangis ajer.

skandal seperti nih macam tak habis habis lah. dari zaman musa hitam sampai sekarang semua nak rebut kuasa. semua tamak haloba. semua nak mempentingkan diri. kalau begini telah terjadi, apasal diaorang jadi ahli parti pada mulanya? macam muslihat kan?

apa nak jadi ngan diaorang pun saya tak tau. agaknya satu hari nanti nama parti akan ditukarkan dari itu kepada, “U Malay? NO!”


eh maccow. skarang polis london nak suka tembak tembak orang kat sana.

apa nak jadi kat diaorang nih. macam bodohkan? seperti apa yang selalu dipertengahkan, keganasan akan hanya timbulkan lebih keganasan. hanya resolusi, kesefahaman dan dialog boleh menghuraikan keadaan begini.

tuh takpe, yang buatkan saya takut, nanti si gahmen singapura nih pun akan syiok sendiri ikut cara si polis owang putih tuh.

saya bukan takut pengganas. saya takut orang bodoh bawak pistol pasal dengar arahan orang atas lepas tuh dapat sijil konon konon atas keberanian dan lepas tuh dapat bonus 3 bulan.

macam nih saya nak pakai helmet besi bila naik mrt lah.


i heard from around that baybeats was not received well this time around.

aha! i thought of letting out and shrieked, “told ya so!” but for once i rather be (a bit) politically correct.

you see, events like these will have, sooner or later, their expiry date. it’s like a novelty, a fad, a statement even. i have to applaud to the organisers, but definately not to the $500-million-singapore-pools-and-taxpayers-money-organisation, for their ambition, determination, inspiration and perspiration.

logistics is a chore and a bitch to finalise, yes?

but back to the case in hand. i realised from 2 years ago, and then last year that this event has been recycling its programmes, personna as well as attitude. how so?

let me give some pointers:-

1. the players
raise up your hand on which band others have not seen? true enough there ARE some that haven’t played before but using the calculations of the brain doesn’t it bewildered you that somehow you may have seen 3/4 of the bands performed before with roughly the same materials? so it comes to a point to make you wonder, how different it is to attend and look at the performance during baybeats? loyalty is a case in hand, experiencing something new is another.

i figured it has become stale and unappetising. like a soiled toasted bread in the morning. i love toasted bread in the morning and spread it with wonderfully flavoured philadelphia cream cheese. mmmmmm. but then, i dont like it soiled. it feels empty, ya know.

so how do we changed this scenario? why not cut down the number of invitees / performance of these (unneccessary) bands. make it a more compact festival. 3 days is way to ambitious for a festival only 4 years old with many repetitive performances. it doesn’t have to always be new materials for performance to be a pre-requisite, but heck just a new breath of air lah.

solution? cut it short from 3 days to 2. decrease the number of bands. improve the quality of performance step by step. add more buffer zone in between performances, just in case encores are being requested by the audience. (this is supposed to be a gig, not a class recital,so give more freedom lah beb)

2. the attendees
some complains were directed to the “kids” who made attendence and bringing down the repute of such festivals. to argue about this point is like an argument why the sky is blue and the grass is green. it’s inevitable, kids WILL come. it IS free of charge, and yes i won’t blame them to attend because it is one place wer u can cuci mata until u cannot have mata at all. adults WILL complain that they don’t belong there, but what right is there for them to argue? attendees should know better that they will come for all the reasons being said out before.

adults will always demand their exclusiveness and rights beforehand at such, but please lah most of them attend too as the same reasonings as these kids also. i know if i were to come i would like to “cuci mata” , “act like a mother fucking cool indie poster boy”, and at the end of the day i will ask, “music? what music?”, bar one or two lah.

solution? if you do not want kids to attend, have a freaking entry charge for a 2 day festival. $20 like that. (but then due to the “overwhelming response”, esplanade will definately incur charges, sooner or later. must recoup back that $500 million mah.) and to tackle the “hey-look-at-me-im-fucking-indie-cool-look-at-me-godamnit!” problem, we can activate the redundant cisco guards to pursue this issue. “WOIT! CISCO HERE! DON’T TRY TOO LOOK SO COOL YOU PUNK!” see? useful, kan?

3. the security
easy. if the management wants total security, order everyone to deposit their bags at the entrance and not allow patrons to wear clothes or anything. simple? security to the max like dat i tell u. but then mr management, i doubt those-indie-punk-emo-whatever people are bothered enough about politicks. it aint cool enough, ya noe?

baybeats will change, i hope. if not people will get tired of all the hoo hah being served with these things over and over again…

this, speaking from a person who has skipped the past 2 though.

rant over!


1. i loved the weather so far. it’s cool and very shiok! but, i blamed it for my undoing today.

i skipped work.

2. i do not want to blow any bubble, but i am really excited for august. and the reason being, school will start soon and yes, i am a jakunised mat who likes to go to school.

all for the wrong reasons.

but ever the procastinator me, i’ve yet to pay the registration fee.

(buck up damnit!)

3. i thought my pc is not vunerable to virus attacks, but hell it finally did. this created the most unusual incarnation of computer malfunction, thus far. so now we know…

4. and yes, this.

’nuff said.


now is it me or that advert for the apperentice has bartley’s school song playing in the background? which one? the one where the advert shows the lightbulbs with the degree in electricity or bla bla bla..

and the weird thing is, i was singing to the school song after the advert finished. facta non verba beb.

speaking of which, i don’t forsee how channel 5 / The One With The Hair can come out with the idea whereby degree holders are book smarts and diplomas are street smarts. now who came out with that? i knew some who attain degs and are very street savvy (but not smartly bookish) and dips people who are book smart, but well a geek. generalisations are an easy way out i guess.

so in this scenario i want to generalise that most nkf staff are either
a) ding dong bats
b) kena sampuk
c) being held hostage
d) have to eat kidneys

after much of the hubrah rah rah, those people are still behind The Durai Who Has Bee Turbanised. (go davinder!) i wonder what they have on their sleeves declaring their upmost support for him who has revealed whatever discrepencies to the public.

a) those who curry favour the boss most will get more bonus.
b) will get to be his favourite worker of the month. he is that lonely u know on the 12th floor with little people to talk too.
c) will possess that ultimate gold plated tap. rare edition, it’s going to be a singapore icon and replace the merlion. soon.

and talking of which, what the fuck is “hang turi”?!

i know about hang tuah, jebat, lekiu and heck even hang kebun. but hang turi?!

it might be a case either the vandal is:-
a) graffiti artist tak menjadi who happens to be a chink
b) a dyslexic graffiti artist who yang tak menjadi
c) terrorist who suddenly happens to realise he has lots of spray cans.
d) the jilted plumber

rant over.


the ongoing case of that nkf’s ceo leaves me in a dilemma lah. because of this, nwos will be scrutinised and because of that i can hear my career spiralling down the drain.

non charitable organisations are foreseen as establishments to help the needy and those in need. the pursue of social work is deemed as ‘filial’ and should be held in high regard as for the contributions to the community and not to oneself. thus any profits will be channelled to any avenues for supplementing this idea.

but take look lah dei. who in their minds wants to work for these type of organisations? any self-processed young person eager to strive in this world will immediately reject the notion of working with one, simply because of the measely pay. i, for one am working for one (just says how eager i am to strive in this world) and am suffering for this lack of monetory supply while others are earning twice as much doing similar jobs as me. and yet, i don’t feel this gratitude of serving (so call) to the community. heck, i doubt the community even bothers about us.

nwos will always sit on a double edged sword. they can’t earn much but then as of this reason they can’t move rapidly to help those in need. how do we convince these mata putih singaporeans to vapourise any ill-sentiments and negativities? i don’t think tofik can sing at every nwo functions to pursue the public interests.

so what now? i guess the answer is simple. knock the head of every blardy kuniangs out there and make their eyes open big big. glamourise it and make it as a career choice so those blardy aunties and makciks and acis will pester their children to pursue this line. simple innit? more acceptence comes more….money? and less…prejudice? i wish.

but then is t t durai really blardy samdol lah. because of him now, i don’t think i will get any more (well deserved ahem, ahem) payrise. how the fuck he could customise a $900 plus tap baffles me to the drain. i dont think sim seong choon has that. but then, people should’ve realised nkf is one blardy dodgy organisation long ago anyway and yet they are still mesmerised by their plead. just shows how kuniangs our people are. most. i never say all. so don’t sue me ok. even if u are thinking i say it’s true wat. eh but then former pm wife is one of my board members. skali she read this i kena potong kepala. die die like that.

better take mc tomorrow.


i dont understand tom cruise.

he acts, weird. everytime he starts to shout and/or gets angry, he seems to be letting out spasms and fake in certain aspects. like that scene in a few good men when he starts to shout at jack nicholson, or that dialogue from jerry maguire or those cries in born on the fourth of july. and yes, that shout in war of the worlds too.

it just seemed, phoney.

and it just gets weirder. i realised, suddenly, most of my film collections has him innit. peculiar i find that, but i like those movies. i like:-

1. magnolia
2. vanilla sky
3. jerry maguire
4. minority report
5. rain man
6. collateral
7. born on the 4th of july and of course, the best of the lot
8. the last samurai

then i suddenly realised, i am tom cruise’s closet fan.

oh darn it.

and yes, sin city is gory. and that miho…oh hubba hubba. that fella screwed all the male hormones in me to hyper overdrive.



for the record, i stood – yes stood – for 4 hours and plus. and all i had was a stare from him, a sneer remark from a lady, lots of sweat and crumbling knees.

all for an autograph. how pathethic this life can be, yea?

that’s why i love to read, sense, indulge in daily struggles. you know, to compensate myself that i ‘may’ not be alone leading a tragicomedy life. ya know what i mean?

and that is why too i love to see movies like crash. so real one. so dramatic. and got don cheadle some more. he good i tell you. all his films i saw him (ocean’s 11, hamburger hill, traffic, boogie nights, hotel rwanda)he acting very intense one.

just like my muther-intense-watching-indonesian drama on thursday nights. she actually shouted at the screen pasal not happy with the character.

so weird one this family.


“hi freddie. nice shirt.”
“hello michael. please don’t flirt.”
“so freddie, why the daze?”
“i don’t know, everything’s a haze.”
“live 8, not that great?”
“its ok, but i could regenerate, if i have the fate.”
“no kidding, freddie mercury?”
“i am not, it’s a jamboree.”
“so what’s next then fred?”
“nothing much, just going back to bed.”


i don’t have cable.

my dad has this amazing theory that if we do install cable tv in our home, he’ll miss his favourite buletin utama on tv3. i’ve tried to reason it out with him, but it’s just impossible.

so it just come into my knowledge that a lot of my collegues and people were raving to me about live 8 which happened last weekend. oh, live 8.

(ok this is the regular part where mr dol gets his daily dose of always-not-happy syndrome)

all of them were worshipping to the fact its one of the best gigs ever held. it was praised with the knowledge that it wwa held for a noble cause, to help and strike off poverty in africa. major acts, major artists, all at once at the same time. of course, except for bryan adams lah.

so i try to soak in the information. the brain triiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiied to calculate.

“hmmmm, concerts around the world trying to save poverty?” a silent pause later, “fucking how?!”

how can these artists organise a multi-billion logistics extravaganza to claim that this can help to save the saviour? it does make sensible sense to say , “no we don’t want to organise this. why not i just donate 10% of my royalties and pass it to `em. and oh yeah, use the money to organise live 8 and pass it on to aaaaa-freeee-kahhhh.”

if that doesn’t make sense, i don’t know what else will.

but nooooooooooooo. everyone will defend the purity of the cause. it’s a good cause, and you should just stop bitching mr dol and get a life, if you do have one.

but i do have one – i make one by giving remarks on mega productions who proclaims for a good cause but have a snide intention to raise the profile of their cred to the world. don’t belive me? just google and look at the increasing sales of those artists involved. except for bryan adams lah. and celine dion. yeeeeeeesh.

i find the intention of live 8 similar to that of the gazzillionth charity shows that’s been telecasted here on our shores. and the public will always be tempted to give in and contribute by watching it and thus somehow it’ll create a demand for events like these.

wake up, wake up from all these marketing and hype and promotion because if not we all will be living in a world whereby the power of persuasion, comfortability and pure ignorance will rule.

eh but wait. i realised after all the rants i’ve made, i actually have that cool white band strip at the top right corner of this page. waaaaaaaaaaaaaah…so contradicting me. :>


IOC is here. hello. i hope you don’t get sick that this land tends to promote events like these to the maximum of the max. yes, we do. we like to be proud in our imaginations that the world is actually looking at us. we are proud, bitches! but not damn kuniang.


a lot like love is cute. but 7 years to finally hit the jackpot is kind of surreal. doesn’t seem to happen in this real life though.

but amanda peet’s nipples rocks to the casbah.


Gua tengok itu perbahasan pasal kaum melayu masih berluluasa. ada cakap tak heppi pasal si ah chua tak adil. ada tak happy pasal orang melayu memang pemalas. ada yang tak heppi pasal sarip selalu tak heppi. memang betol apa yang diaorang tuh semua nye pendapat. ni dunia memang dunia tak heppi. jadi sekarang gua nak bikin orang lain, lagi tak heppi.

gua tak heppi kat orang orang melayu tuh yang macam bagi seruan agama bila bila diaorang nak mempertahankan martabat diaorang. ada yang alih alih keluarkan ayat ayat lah, ada yang alih alih jadi macam imam mana ntah cakap you-tahu-lah. ada yang mengutuk tindakkan kaum lain pasal diaorang tak bagi hormat kat diaorang. kadang-kadang saya baca pun ketawa tak agak-agak tengok ni orang orang yang menganggap diaorang ni macam penyelamat kaum. saya peliklah tengok tindakkan diaorang keluarkan kata kata agama kat kaum kaum lain yang memberitahu diaorang tuh agama ini adalah agama yang benar dan sebagainya. buat benda ni kan macam bagi ceramah kat orang yang tak bleh dengar ataupun mereka yang mabuk hidu gam gred a. apa diaorang nye ideologi sak? lu orang fikir ngan lu orang nye power kedemak nye ceramah pasal agama diaorang akan patuh? mempertahankan sesuatu tuh memang tindakkan yang mulia, tapi kalau dah tembak macam mana pun kat orang yang kalis ditembak kan buangkan peluru ajer? kalau orang tuh dah memang betol degil sial nya orang, lu rilek sudahlah. lu tak terfikirkah, yang ramai penganut disini dilahirkan dengan agama ini dan lantas dibesarkan dengan seruan tuh dan seterusnya kita memasuki dalamnya. lu tak terfikir kah kalau hidup ni ada terjebak lain sikit macam dalam filem back to the future part 2 barangkali lu nya hidup dibesarkan dalam agama yang lain dan ni benda terjadi? mungkinkah lu akan menjadi seperti orang yang mungkin menghina akan agama nih? tuh pasal orang yang slalu gua respek itu orang yang masuk ni agama dengan keikhlasan diri diaorang dengan semuliannya. susah untuk difikirkan kalau kamu dilahirkan dalam agama yang lain tetapi hati dibuka dengan yang lain setelah dibesarkan.

bih tuh ada lagi perbahasan pasal orang melayu sendiri kritik kaum sendiri pasal melayu ni memang pemalas. rilek lah joy! kalau kaum lain cakap kita orang pemalas tuh diaorang nya pasal, tapi kalau kaum sendiri cakap cam ni, gua tak heppi beb. apasal? pasal takde pasal lah tuh sebab. kalau pakcik yang rambut gondrong tuh kat haig road asik duduk jer hari hari kat situ tak buat apa apa biarkan lah dia. gua tak suka beb kaum sendiri cakap cakap camni kat kaum sendiri pasal orang orang melayu ni tak bleh diharap langsung. sikit maju salah, sikit lembab salah, apa yang betol sak? jangan buat nih, jangan buat tuh, patuh kepada agama tapi cuba buat duit lebih jadi kaum lain tak hina, cuba lakukan perkara yang boleh manfaatkan masyarakat tapi gossip pasal mak bedah yang anak dia asik asik masuk drc, tingkatkan taraf pembelajaran kaum melayu tapi jabatan kemasyarakatan amik sapa sapa yang boleh jadi tutor kat anak diaorang, asik asik bandingkan malaysia tidak semaju disini tapi asik gi sana blanja cam nak gila pasal macam macam alasan, nak jadi kaum yang maju tapi masih berdaya fikiran yang tidak liberal. apa nih? semua nak maju, semua nak pandu kehadapan tapi tak pernah gua tengok ramai kaum yang ingin melihat kebelakang. dalam segala kaum yang paling masyur di dunia nih pasti diaorang yang teguh akan kesejarahan diaorang, ilmu pengetahuan mereka terhadap budaya seni dan tradisi mereka. mereka tau siapakah pemimpin mereka yang paling teguh, siapakah penyair termasyur mereka dan sebagainya. siapa diantara ramai orang disini yang boleh berbangga akan diri diaorang sendiri dalam ni kaum?

saya cuma tau rahim maarof sahaja.