hi my name is sarip.
for all i can remember, i’ve never introduced myself well enough.
i say, let’s do it then.
i’m 27. still living off my parents though they are not working anymore and loves to eat slobbishly off the computer table and leaving food stains on the tabletop as well as the keyboard which makes my friend adam the ant and willy the cocky very happy. i work in a school for the dyslexics and i’m very suspicious that i’m one too.
you see, i can’t socialise very well and i tend to lose memory very fast and my table, room, floor, wardrobe is highly disorganised and to a certain fact that
is one of the classic traits of the dyslexic. i did try to negotiate a deal with my collegues to test me for free but they thought i was being funny. everyday i slogged myself to work riding the train and boarding the bus and the whole journey is occupied wiping sweat off my face, body and every other unmentionable body parts.
i feel trapped in the trains but buses give me pleasure because i can lay this head of mine against the glass panels and it allows me to feel the vibration of the vehicle. until now, im still trying to figure out my purpose at work. each day i’ll try to make up new stories and senarios to make myself useful and needed. however the rest of the time i will be stealing cookies from the pantry, collecting sugar satchets and make patterns based on my working table. sometimes i like to draw happy faces on sheets of paper while looking out of the window where once a collegue of mine shrieked at an eagle that flew across our building. though i am not sure if that’s true because you see i cant see very well. most of the times, i just walk through the motion at work and eventually try to reflect to myself what have i done for the day with the feeling of unimaginable guilt inverted commas. i am afraid of crowds actually and people eventually. i’m still covering myself in a cocoon to avoid a lot of my disabilities to the outside world, as if there isn’t that little to see. i’m highly insecure and dissing people is just a way for me to communicate my unattractiveness to the community. i like music and movies too. i like obscure bands with vague music whom people find a tad difficult to understand eventually and i can’t sleep without turning the music on. some acts that i can remember now which i like are the shins, iron and wine, bob dylan, neil young, john denver, beck, broken social scene and these just happens to be playing on my player. i wish i can act, direct and play. i love to see good films and i love to reflect the motives of certain films. when i was growing up i love to watch gomer pyle and i used to rush home from school just to manage myself to be in front of the telly. sbc5 used to telecast classic 50s and 60s sub-american family tv shows. it was nice. i like to read articles about politics, history and religion. i figured all 3 are co-related and influenced by my uncle i like to read books on the comparison of religions though i’m not a pious person myself. my parents are two loving people though we often shriek, taunt and yell at each other when the mood sets in. i can be highly impatient and demands results to be seen for no reason why. i have an enemy on clothings. most clothes doesn’t seem to fit and match me and most of the time i’ll look like a slob from a rundown shacktown. i can’t manage my hair and i gave up twiddling with it.
but there will be hope…